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I patted my pocket, feeling the ring securely tucked away.
I knew I was making the right decision.
Nerves swirled like a deadly whirlpool inside my stomach as I thought about how Carly would take the news. As much as we didn’t see eye to eye on a lot of things, she was still Kim’s sister, the woman who raised her after her parents had passed away. She’d lost a lot in her short life, first her mom and dad, then her baby sister. Both Denver and Meyah’s dad had left, leaving her high and dry to raise two children on her own. She’d never had anything stable. I admired her strength and perseverance, knowing that after everything she’d been through, she was still standing, still holding her head high and fighting through. I loved those two kids like they were my own. Being the only male figure in their lives, I knew they looked up to me. I wanted to be there for them as much as I could.
Carly still wasn’t exactly Hadley’s biggest fan. I wasn’t sure if it was because Hadley had been a club girl previously, or whether she felt like Hadley was stealing away the memory of her sister and trying to be Kim’s replacement. I needed to talk to her, to let her know that that would never happen.
Neither, Hadley nor I would let it.
That should be enough to prove to Carly that this was the right decision.
“All right, Macy, go on.” Eagle placed her on her feet and ushered her forward. Santa waited with his arms wide, sitting on his jolly decorated throne. I pulled a twenty from my pocket and handed it to the elf with the camera. She adjusted her outfit, which in my opinion showed far too much fucking skin for a job working with kids, and gave me a flirty smile.
Macy stood frozen for a second before whipping her body around and looking up at me with almost a look of fear in her eyes. “Baby girl,” I said crouching down. “It’s okay. Just go and sit with him. Tell him what you want for Christmas.”
“You come,” she pleaded, looking between Eagle and me. She reached out, grabbing each of our hands and pulled us with her.
“This shit isn’t made for adults,” Eagle growled as he attempted to step over some candy cane shaped thing sticking out of the path.
Santa reached out and with us by her side, Macy crawled up onto his lap. “Hello little lady, what’s your name?”
“Macy,” she whispered with a shy smile, her eyes wide as she stared at the bearded man.
“Are these your daddies?”
A loud shocked laugh burst from my lips like a mighty explosion, while Eagle’s head whipped around to look at me with eyes so wide, I swear they were almost popping from his skull.
Macy giggled and kicked her legs happily. “No Santa…” she pointed to me, “… that’s my daddy.”
“Ohhh…” Santa said before looking up at us. “Sorry guys, just thought that—”
“Just get on with it Saint Nick,” Eagle snapped, startling the poor old man.
Covering my mouth, I listened as he asked Macy what she would like for Christmas.
Macy cleared her throat dramatically, and damn if the kid didn’t blow me the fuck away in that moment. “I would wike a mommy. I never had one. My mommy died, I miss her wots.”
The old man cleared his throat and offered me a soft, understanding smile before turning back to my little girl, his voice cracking. “I bet you do, little one.”
My heart pounded like a stampede of horses.
“My daddy wikes Hadwey. And I think my heaven mommy would be okay if Hadwey was my second mommy.”
“Macy…” I whispered, but Santa held up his hand, quietening me as he stared into the eyes of my baby girl, a baby girl who had completely just blown me the fuck away. Macy was smart, at four she heard and understood more than I gave her credit for. My blood burned hot, my throat closing up as I tried to keep my emotions in check.
“Well, little one, you know, sometimes people go to heaven and it’s okay for us to miss them. But you know what, I’m sure your mommy is looking down on you and your daddy with a smile. You know why?” Macy listened intently and she shook her head. “Because you and Daddy are happy. And if you’re happy, I’m sure she’s happy too.”
“Hadwey makes me happy,” Macy whispered, turning to look at me.
“Me too, baby girl,” I croaked. “Me too.”
“Ready for a picture?” Elf girl interrupted, popping the gum in her mouth obnoxiously, making me want to take it out of her mouth and stick it in her damn hair. “All together now!” She waved us in and even Eagle leaned in with us, the both of us too shocked with what had just happened to even compute what was going on.
The flash blinded us all.
“Mother-fucker!” Eagle cursed, rubbing at his eyes. The parents around us all gasped in shock and hid their children.
Macy jumped down from Santa’s lap and tugged on Eagle’s hand, pulling him away. “You so siwwy.” She giggled as she led him back down the path to collect the picture.
“She gonna get what she wants for Christmas?” Santa asked from behind me.
I patted my pocket, indicating the outline of the ring box. “I hope so.”
He nodded. “Good luck.”
I walked away, feeling a weird sensation building inside me. I wasn’t sure what it was, excitement, nerves, or maybe just a feeling of resolution and peace.
