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“Wrench, I’m just not ready to see you get hurt, and I don’t know if I’m ready to explain all this to Harlyn,” Sugar protested as she stomped back and forth across the living room. Gone was the happy, carefree woman, and in her place was once again a scared and vulnerable young girl. One I’d met before.
I should have stopped there. Should have seen the signs she was throwing up. The way she was curling in on herself. But I was annoyed. The feeling of betrayal sitting heavy in my stomach.
“You think Harlyn wouldn’t be okay with this shit? We get along great, youknowthis.”
“It’ll cause tension in the club. It’ll cause shit between you and Op, and I don’t want that,” she argued, shaking her head.
These were just excuses, ones that I was sick and tired of hearing.
“I don’t want anyone to get hurt.”
“And what about me, huh? What about what I want?” I shot back, folding my arms across my chest. “Is this just fun for you? Is that why you don’t want people to know? Because you never plan on it being any more than this?”
“Stop,” she squeaked. “Don’t do that.”
“Well, that’s what it seems like,” I pushed, moving forward.
“Well, you’re wrong,” she yelled. “You mean a lot to me. I thought you knew that!”
I reached out, grabbing her hand. She fought against me, but I held even tighter. “Then let’s just tell him. We can do this shit and come out the other side. I want to see where this could lead.”
“I just… I don’t…” she stammered like her mouth was struggling to find the words she needed to say. “Please don’t ruin this. I can’t lose… I can’t lose you. It’ll break me.” She wrenched her hand from my grip and backed away. Her hands going to her head, palms pushing against her temples. I couldn’t understand what she was saying because she wasn’t making any damn sense.
“Sugar, what’s going on with you?”
“You need to leave,” she said suddenly, her breathing becoming heavy.
“What the—”
“Go! Just please… we will talk about this later. No, I just can’t right now.” She was shaking, and I was quickly on full alert.
I shook my head, advancing on her. “No. Tell me what the hell is going on.”
She held her hands up defensively, stopping me in my tracks. “You just need to go,” she whispered, the crack in her voice almost enough to break me.
I couldn’t find any words, it was like she was scared. I didn’t know what to say or tell her, to bring her out of this sudden shift. She was disappearing. That fear in her eyes, it was staring right at me, and for a moment I wondered whether I’d fucked it up for good.
“Hey… it’s okay. All right, I’ll go. I’ll come back later and see Harlyn. I promised I’d take her to the park. Is that okay?” I kept my tone low, scared I’d spook her, but my mind was running overtime. I wanted to comfort her, but I already knew that last time she got like this, she refused to be touched.
She nodded, refusing to look at me.
“All right, I’ll see you in a few hours when Harlyn gets home from school.”
“Okay, that would be good.”
I stared at her for a few moments before turning and headed for the door. It took every piece of self-control inside me to walk away and leave her like that, not knowing how the hell she’d just flipped so suddenly. I wanted to pull her into my arms and hold her tight, not caring whether she would fight me.
I needed answers, but I wasn’t willing to risk her withdrawing from me completely in order to get them. If I forced it, I might lose her forever and right now, I couldn’t.
I managed to hold myself together until I heard his bike pull away from the house.
Then I shattered.
Tears streamed down my cheeks, and I fought to catch my breath between deafening sobs.
This couldn’t be happening.
I wanted to run from the house screaming, begging him to come back. Suddenly, I felt so alone, likes the curtains in my mind were closing, and no matter how much I fought to keep the light flowing in, it wasn’t enough.
