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Chapter 21
Annabelle hesitated, hovering outside her son’s bedroom door. She’d woken with a start, and her first thought had been for Jake, quickly followed by the memory that his father was asleep on the sofa upstairs. Izzie was fine. Annabelle could see the hunched form of her daughter underneath the covers on the other bed, her breathing steady and even.
It was Jake who Annabelle was concerned about, and yet again she crept out of bed in the middle of the night to check on him. He, too, was sleeping soundly, which she was relieved to find, and she backed out of the room quietly, wondering whether Ron was awake.
Putting her ear to the door, her fingers brushed the handle, then she shook her head crossly before turning away. He was probably asleep; after all it was three o’clock in the morning, but even if he wasn’t, what could she say? The middle of the night wasn’t exactly the best time to have a hushed conversation about the sudden appearance of her ex-husband and the issues of upset children.
Yet, she continued to linger, wanting desperately to be held by him, to feel his strong arms around her, to be buoyed up and strengthened by his calm and steadfast demeanour.
It wasn’t fair to wake him purely for selfish reasons. He was undoubtedly as tired as she, having been on the go all day and then having to face Troy worming his way into the family. This evening couldn’t have been easy for Ron, she acknowledged; their relationship was so new and so fragile that the slightest breeze might endanger it. And Troy wasn’t exactly a breeze. He was more of a hurricane.
As quietly as she could, she went back to her room, crept inside, and slipped under the bedclothes. For now, at least, the children were slumbering soundly, but that was the only bit of comfort she could glean, as her thoughts once again turned to Troy and anger bubbled to the surface. His selfishness astounded her. How dare he simply turn up and expect her to welcome him with open arms! Maybe he thought he was in with a chance because of how devastated she’d been when he’d told her he had another woman and that he was leaving. Who wouldn’t feel the same if they discovered that the person who had vowed to love you and stay faithful to you had been playing hide-the-sausage with someone else?
Just because she had been distraught at the collapse of their marriage, didn’t mean that she would go running back to him if he clicked his fingers. She hadn’t wanted anything to do with him after that, despite her broken heart, so she sure as hell didn’t want him now. Besides, the only reason he was here at all was because he and Sallie were no longer together. Troy was the sort of man who couldn’t cope unless he had a woman on his arm – a woman to keep house, do the laundry, cook his meals, and keep him entertained in the bedroom. Annabelle was under no illusion that he wanted her because he loved her. All she’d be was a stopgap until someone more exciting came along.
She had to admit though, that the thought of going back to Australia was appealing. She’d spent over half her life there, she’d birthed her children there, she had friends and a social life there. She’d had a home and a job. And once upon a time she’d had a husband.
However, things change. She now had no husband, no home, no job, few friends and no social life. If she gave in to her guilt about taking her children away from everything they’d ever known, and took them back to Australia, she’d still not have any of those things and she’d actually be worse off. At least in the UK she could continue to live in her parents’ house for as long as she needed.
And there was something else that, over the past few days, she’d come to think was equally important – Ron, and the opportunity to start over with someone who cared about her and her children.
All she had to do was to convince Jake that staying in Britain was in his and Izzie’s best interests.
Which might be easier said than done.
***
After spending half the night awake, Annabelle finally dropped off to sleep as the morning light seeped through the curtains, and when she woke a few hours later she felt groggy and hungover despite not having drunk anything last night.
Wearily she pushed the duvet back and sat up, not wanting to face the day but knowing she had to. For one thing, she had two confused children to comfort, and for another she had an ex-husband to send packing. When she’d done that, hopefully things would settle down and she’d be able to have a talk with Ron. She could tell that he’d felt uncomfortable yesterday evening. She wouldn’t have been at all surprised if he’d spent another night out on the dunes, purely to get away from the tense atmosphere in the house.
Feeling groggy and tired, she hopped into the shower, and when she emerged she saw that Izzie was awake and staring at her.
‘Is Daddy still here?’ her daughter asked.
Annabelle said, ‘I expect so.’
She couldn’t imagine Troy doing the decent thing and leaving. For one thing, he had no transport (he’d informed her that he’d caught the train from Cardiff to Porthcawl, and then had a taxi from the station to Rest Bay) and for another, he would have been too mean to shell out for a night in a hotel when he had free accommodation here. She was just glad that Beverley had insisted Ron didn’t vacate his room for him, otherwise she might never get rid of the damned man.
Saying that though, today was their last day in Rest Bay, and tonight would be their last night, so unless he intended to follow her to Brighton, he’d have no other option than to go.
She felt incredibly sad to think that tomorrow evening she’d be back in her parents’ home, having said goodbye to Ron, and although Beverley only lived a couple of miles away, it was going to seem much further, once reality kicked in. All she hoped was, that this wasn’t just a holiday romance and that they would be able to continue to see each other when they were back in Brighton. She knew how she felt about him, and she hoped and suspected that he felt the same way about her, but she wasn’t certain because he’d not told her he loved her, and she’d not said those three little words to him, either.
It was too soon, the relationship too new, to say something of such significance. Annabelle didn’t fall in love lightly, and neither did she give her heart away willy-nilly. There was only one man she’d ever loved, and that was Troy, and look how that had turned out. She was all too aware that she didn’t only have her own happiness to consider, she also had to consider the happiness of her children. They’d both taken to Ron, Izzie especially, and he was very good with them and he seemed to care for them, but he wasn’t their father. In her children’s eyes, no one could take their father’s place, despite Troy being a pretty crap dad. Annabelle would love nothing better than for Ron to be in their lives. But she couldn’t force it. Ron would have to earn their love, and their trust, and there was a long way to go before that happened.
Izzie watched Annabelle for a while as she brushed her hair and tied it up, then applied some makeup. She didn’t normally wear a great deal of make-up, but today she felt the need of it. Similarly, she chose what she was going to wear with care. With Ron she’d been happy in faded jeans and strappy tops, but she almost felt as though today was an unpleasant business meeting. She had the same butterflies in her stomach that she’d had when she’d gone to see a lawyer about her divorce, needing to appear in control and put-together in the eyes of the world, because she had been feeling the exact opposite inside.
‘You look pretty, Mum,’ Izzie told her, finally getting out of bed.
Annabelle was surprised that her daughter hadn’t shot out the door and gone straight upstairs to see her father, and it took a while before Annabelle realised the reason for Izzie’s hesitation – she was shy. And possibly apprehensive. The children hadn’t seen their father for a couple of months prior to them getting on the plane to the UK. Maybe even longer. To children of Izzie’s age, four or five months was a long time. For Jake too, although he was older. Izzie might love her dad, but Jakeworshippedhim. In Jake’s eyes, Troy could do no wrong, which was why Annabelle hadn’t shared any details of his father’s negligence with him. She didn’t want to be the one to burst Jake’s bubble, but unfortunately he’d heard far too much last night. He had probably heard other things too, especially in those first days after arriving at her parents’ house when she’d practically fallen apart. No matter how hushed the conversation, Jake must have heard some of it. Her mum hadn’t been shy about expressing her disgust at Troy’s behaviour despite Annabelle urging her to keep her voice down and her opinions to herself when the children were around.
Still, she was fairly certain that Jake didn’t know the worst of it – as far as she was aware, the kids only understood they didn’t have a home anymore because Daddy’s business wasn’t doing too well, and so they couldn’t afford to live there. Izzie had accepted the explanation, although she did keep asking why they weren’t going back home and she was clearly upset about it. Jake had probed deeper, and it had taken Annabelle a while to convince him that the house he’d lived in all his life no longer belonged to them. In her darkest moments, she’d actually wondered whether Jake thought she’d been making it up, because he had been so distant and withdrawn with her.
In spite of everything that Jake may, or may not, have heard, all Jake wanted was his dad.
Therefore Annabelle couldn’t be cross with her son, although she wasn’t happy with the way he’d gone behind her back and told his father where they were staying.
When she went out into the hall she could hear voices coming from the boys’ bedroom, and she tentatively knocked on the door and asked if they were decent, before poking her head around it. Sam was still in his PJs, but Jake was fully dressed. He had a suitcase open on the bed and was busily putting things in it.
