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‘Handwash only,’ Julie told Gus.
Of course it was. Nothing practical like a T-shirt he could throw in with the usual wash.
As he watched the pair, Gus knew it wasn’t that he didn’t want Julie to be in her daughter’s life. On the contrary, he wanted her to be a constant part of it. But she messed her daughter around and didn’t see the effect it had on her when Abigail insisted everything was fine. The last time Julie had cancelled their weekend plans, Abigail had taken to her room crying and then refused to get out of bed in the morning. It had taken a visit from Joan to coax her out and over to the stables, the perfect distraction from everything else, and by dinner time, she was at least talking to her dad. With Julie not around, Abigail didn’t have anyone to take it out on except him. He’d got hold of Julie in the end and she’d told him she’d gone to bed with one of her headaches, that was why she’d had to cancel. She told him it wasn’t safe for her to drive, not with the strong painkillers she’d taken. But he knew it was just what Julie did; she hid herself away from the guilt, the way she’d done right after the accident and before the disintegration of their marriage.
Since those days, he’d always willed her to try to make more of an effort to be in Abigail’s life but clearly she’d taken any suggestion that she might not be doing so as a cue to turn up unexpectedly, like she had now. And he was about to become the bad guy as Abigail gave him a look when her mum told her that she still had to go to school, that they wouldn’t be spending the day together. His refusal to let her take the day off would be the problem, never her mum’s lack of planning or inability to consider other people.
Gus passed the toast to Abigail, who was sitting right up close to her mum as she ate, admiring the new earrings Julie had on and telling her how she was going to get her ears pierced one day. Surprisingly she mentioned Hazel in their conversation, telling her mum how nice the lady at the stables was, and maybe that was why he waited a good twenty minutes, more than he should, before he knew they really had to leave if Abigail wasn’t going to be late for school.
‘Go get your bag, Abigail.’ He picked up Julie’s empty mug and rinsed it under the tap. ‘We need to go.’
‘Do I really have to?’ She’d clearly hoped he’d change his mind right at the last minute.
‘You know the deal. You can see your mum after school.’
‘Well, actually…’ Julie pulled a face. ‘I have to get back on the road by three.’
‘Dad, pleeeeeeease,’ Abigail begged.
Sometimes he wondered if he dug his heels in because Abigail’s accident had happened while she was under Julie’s care. He sometimes questioned himself, asking whether he might be trying to punish Julie in some way for letting it happen. He’d said as much to Joan, who had helped him to see that he wasn’t doing that at all. All he was doing was giving Abigail the stability she so desperately needed.
‘I really would like to spend time with Abigail,’ said Julie, hackles rising a little more. He wished she wouldn’t do that in front of their daughter, not when they’d already been through this.
‘Dad, just this once, please. We can get ice-cream.’ Abigail’s eyes lit up. ‘I could take you to see Denby.’
‘And Denby will be here at the weekend and every weekend after.’ He looked to Julie. ‘You’re welcome to come back any weekend you like. Or one evening.’
‘Evenings are difficult,’ she said sharply, ‘it’s quite a distance.’
And there it was, the dig he’d always expected he’d get. ‘Heritage Cove is good for us, Julie.’
‘It does seem lovely,’ she said, although, knowing her, she wanted to add so much more. ‘Why don’t I visit this weekend, Abigail? I could come Friday and be here when you finish school if you like. If it’s all right with your dad?’
Gus nodded. ‘Fine by me.’ If she turned up.
‘I have to be in Peterborough at seven o’clock, but we’ll have a few hours.’
Gus tried not to harrumph that she was combining it with another commitment. He should focus on the fact she was coming and if she had somewhere else to be afterwards, perhaps it meant she would be more likely to turn up when she promised.
‘Can’t wait,’ Abigail smiled.
Gus picked up his car keys, but Julie had other ideas.
‘How about I take you to school?’ At her suggestion, Abigail gleefully went to get her bag before he’d even said it was okay.
‘Straight there or she’ll be late,’ he told Julie. She’d better not take any detours.
‘Yes, sir.’
She was childish when she wanted to be, but he ignored his ex-wife’s remark and instead enveloped his daughter in a hug when she came downstairs into the hallway. ‘Do you have your reading book?’ She’d forgotten it yesterday and although the teacher hadn’t told her off, Abigail had been angry with herself. Unlike her mother, she was organised; she liked things on schedule, she liked planning.
‘Got it,’ Abigail smiled, her mother’s arm around her shoulders. ‘And my lunch.’
‘I’ll pick you up later then,’ he called as she stepped out of the front door.
Julie turned to face him as she pulled down her sunglasses, car keys in hand as she left the house. ‘She’ll get there on time, I’m not that useless.’
Gus cleared the breakfast things and, after brushing his teeth, locked up and took the short walk to the veterinary practice, calm coming over him as he let himself in the front door. The inside of the bungalow he’d made his new premises still smelt of fresh paint, but that would soon be replaced by the usual aroma of disinfectant and animals.
