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‘It’s a trip to the beach, not a way of luring her away from you.’ Julie rolled her eyes expertly. ‘Honestly, Gus, you can be so paranoid.’ She stood up rather than resting against the cabinet at the side of the room, which was situated at the front of the old bungalow, where a breeze brought with it the scent of summer flowers.
He had an idea. ‘There’s an inn on the corner as you come into the village, perhaps come for a night or two on your next visit.’
‘What’s wrong with my plan to go to the beach house?’
‘Nothing’s wrong with it. Did you not hear what I said about having her settled? It’s a bit too soon, that’s all.’
‘We always have to do things your way.’
‘Single parenting was nevermy way.But it’s what happened. Don’t you see how much she needs to feel settled?’
‘Sometimes I think this is more about your issues than hers.’
He felt his chest rise in frustration. ‘It’s not. I want her to feel she has a home here. It’s important, Julie.’
‘I’m her mother, I love her, and I know it’s important. But you’re making out whatever I do will put her off course.’ When he said nothing, she went on. ‘That’s your whole problem, isn’t it? Anything I do, you find it hard to trust.’
‘Calm down, Julie.’ Clearly he’d flipped a switch with his words – whether a guilt switch or a frustration button, he wasn’t sure – and ignited her fury.
‘You’re so self-righteous, you treat me like—’
‘Oh, come on!’ He hadn’t meant to raise his voice but settling into a new home, a new business, a new village was a challenge in itself. ‘You show up unannounced and want her to skip school, last time you promised to take her out for dinner you cancelled last minute, the time before that when you were due to visit you had a work crisis, and numerous times before that you’ve let her down!’
It was all coming out now, fuelled by the frustration that she’d come here today, unannounced, and got Abigail’s hopes up and he’d had to be the baddie by making their daughter go to school as planned.
‘Abigail should understand that work is important,’ she said, so calmly it riled him all the more.
‘It’s never more important than family, motherhood!’
‘Abigail will grow up learning she can have a career if she works hard.’
‘And you think I don’t teach her that?’ He took a deep breath before he said, ‘I’ve only ever got Abigail’s best interests at heart. Someone has to.’ As soon as he’d added the last few words, he regretted it because she exploded.
Gus stood and listened to Julie yell, tell him how he moved here to keep her from her daughter – he didn’t have the energy to argue with her when they both knew that wasn’t the case – she shrieked that he wanted to keep Abigail to himself. And then she added, ‘I made one mistake and you will never let me forget it!’
Me, me, me, it was all about her.
Her accusation was one step too far and he roared, ‘Never letyouforget it? How do you think Abigail feels every time she looks in the damn mirror? Do you not think that those scars are a permanent reminder of what happened? She won’teverforget it, so why the hell should you?’
‘I can’t talk to you when you’re like this. I came here thinking I could see my daughter, but you ruined that.’
‘Your daughter isat school!’ He yelled the last two words to try to get through to her. ‘It’s the law, it’s what she needs, stop trying to do things on your schedule and not giving a toss what it means to anyone else. When you don’t show up for Abigail, who do you think picks up the pieces? Who do you think has to try to comfort her when she’s sobbing into her pillow at night?’ His heart was pounding, his palms clammy, he could barely catch a breath.
‘Well, obviously you!’ she yelled, picking up her bag and car keys from the top of the cabinet where she’d left them. ‘Because you are God, you are such a fucking saint!’
‘Don’t even get me started.’ His voice lower, he hoped she’d go before he reminded her of what had happened with every painful detail.
She finished the visit by swearing at him again and reminding him she’d be at school on Friday to collect Abigail and with a slam of his freshly painted front door, she stormed out.
* * *
Gus stood with a big mug of coffee in his hand and leaned against the door jamb at the back door to the veterinary practice. He looked out over the compact lawn that didn’t have much character and wondered whether he’d make it a bit neater in time, add some flowerbeds, or whether he’d use the area to expand the bungalow. He had no idea, but the future was exciting for him and Abigail, and he wasn’t going to let Julie barrelling in today and arguing with him to take that feeling away, not when this had been his dream for so long.
He hoped that in the same way he was calming down, Julie was doing likewise as she left the Cove behind. But more than that, he hoped she’d keep her promise and come back to see her daughter at the weekend. Abigail had never asked too much about custody arrangements apart from initially, when she told him she’d assumed the child always went with the mother. Gus had told her that her mum did a lot of travelling with her job and that, while they both wanted their daughter, it made more sense for Abigail to stay with him for the time being. Abigail had put her arms around him and told him that she loved him. Truth be told, when the custody arrangements were settled, he’d wondered how it was all going to work out. It was what he wanted, of course, and he’d have fought to the bitter end for it to happen. He’d be forever grateful, though, that Julie hadn’t challenged the decision in the courts. He’d have hated to have to stand up and say anything against his ex-wife. She wasn’t a bad person, he never wanted to hurt her. And without the additional confrontation, things had been a lot calmer for Abigail too.
Gus watched a bumblebee duck into the centre of a pink flower growing near the wall behind the veterinary practice. It wiggled and either got what it wanted or didn’t, and flew on to wherever it intended to go next.
Gus experienced a momentary pang of guilt standing here, guilt that he hadn’t let Julie take Abigail out for the day instead of sending her to school. Her mother was here in the Cove and it was a big deal that she’d turned up. If he’d let them see one another today, then he wouldn’t have to stress that Julie wouldn’t show up on Friday. But deep down, as he finished his coffee, he knew he’d done the right thing. Allowing it wouldn’t teach Julie anything, it would only reinforce the idea that she could turn up whenever she felt like it and expect everyone else to fall in line.
