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Hazel shook her head. ‘She broke it doing a leapfrog over another girl at school and landing awkwardly.’
‘Leapfrogging, eh?’ he grinned. ‘Dangerous sport.’
Barney called over to them. ‘Abigail, could I borrow you again? Lois would like to know a bit more about Denby.’
Gus’s heart lifted at his daughter’s confidence as she went straight back over. Barney really was doing a good job of making them feel welcome. Everyone was.
Hazel followed his eyeline. ‘She’s settling in so well.’
‘She really is.’
‘And she didn’t seem too put out about the other girl riding Denby.’
‘She’s been preparing herself. She knew it was going to happen and she’s had a particularly good day today. Her mum came to visit,’ he added, to explain why that might be. ‘She actually showed up when she was supposed to.’ The words came out before he realised they might have been better staying in his head.
‘Doesn’t she usually?’
He sipped his beer. ‘It can be hit and miss. She turned up the other day and wanted me to take Abigail out of school. I was annoyed and we argued. It wasn’t pleasant. But today we actually talked, and I think the row we had that day might well have helped us both to see a way forward that will be good for us and, more importantly, Abigail.’
Hazel was looking at him but not saying anything.
He picked up the conversation with an admission. ‘Abigail has had a lot to contend with. You must be wondering how exactly she got those scars?’
Hazel’s glass fell from her lips. ‘It was never my place to ask.’
As Abigail was otherwise occupied, he gave Hazel the abridged version. ‘When Abigail was seven, I was away for a few days on a course. While I was away, Julie found out that she’d got the promotion at work she’d been working so hard towards. She was over the moon, took Abigail out for dinner to celebrate, and the celebrations carried on the next night with friends at the house. When Julie’s friends left, Julie realised Abigail must have sneaked downstairs at some point during the evening while they were all in the back garden because her pink beaker was out and the lid was off the bottle of vodka. Julie tried the contents of the beaker and realised it was vodka and orange juice. Julie was livid, she called Abigail downstairs and yelled at her. I think she was scared, it could’ve been so much worse, but it looked as though Abigail hadn’t liked the taste at least and had left the drink.
‘It was one of those hot, sticky summer nights and Abigail assumed the patio door was open, the way Julie would’ve had it all evening until she went to bed herself. And when Julie continued to yell at Abigail, Abigail ran. Outside. She ran straight through the glass of the closed patio door.’
‘No.’ Hazel’s eyes widened, and she covered her mouth with her hand as though to silence what had happened to his daughter.
‘No safety glass in our property, it was a really old house, we were going to do it up and never got around to it. I never even thought about the windows or doors and whether they needed replacing.’ He shook his head. ‘I wish we had. But we were lucky. It could’ve been so much worse.’ He remembered Julie’s panicked phone call, her sobbing uncontrollably as she told him she was at the hospital. ‘Abigail has surprisingly little scarring on her torso but landed on a piece of glass that left her with scars on her face. Those scars will fade but never go completely.
‘Julie didn’t cope with the aftermath of what happened. She felt guilty, and I was furious that she’d let Abigail get her hands on the vodka. After that, and once Abigail was home and on the mend, Julie threw herself into her promotion. She’d stay away with work even more, spend longer hours at the office, row with me whenever she got the chance, and told me she was unhappy with her life, that it wasn’t what she wanted.
‘I knew she’d never fallen into the family and wife role and had always wondered what she was missing. I didn’t expect her to pull away quite so much, but she was a mess. She partied hard with work colleagues, saw less and less of Abigail and me, and so eventually the marriage didn’t survive.’
‘I saw you,’ Hazel told him, and when he looked at her, she added, ‘that day at the practice. I came to see you and I heard shouting.’
‘You saw Julie and me arguing?’ And when she nodded, it all began to make sense: the way she’d barely looked at him in the pub, how she’d avoided him. At least now he knew the truth. He hadn’t been imagining that he’d done something to upset her. Not only had she seen his fury outside the art class, she had also seen him rowing with Julie.
‘You must think I’m an ogre.’ He wasn’t saying it to gain sympathy; he was trying to work out whether she could ever see him differently again.
‘You’ve all been through so much,’ said Hazel, in a way that suggested she might know that it wasn’t simple at all. ‘You were protecting Abigail, by the sounds of it.’ And then, a little softer, she told him, ‘Protecting those you love is an admirable quality.’
He hoped so, but who knew what she really thought deep down? ‘The argument aired a few things for Julie and me, and I think we’ll be all right from now on as long as I stop doubting her and she keeps her end of the bargain by showing up.’ He looked over at his daughter. ‘Abigail’s love of horses has been a salvation since it happened. She’d ridden before the accident but afterwards horses became friends in a way I never predicted. She’d talk to them, offload about her day. She had friends, good ones, but the love of animals was where she got most comfort.’
‘Must be in her genes,’ Hazel smiled gently.
‘Yeah.’ He enjoyed sharing a smile with her, like they both understood something on a deeper level. And he hoped she could start to see he was more than a man who occasionally lost his temper in defence of those he loved the most. ‘When the scars were new, when they were at their angriest, Abigail was angry too. I count my blessings that we had Joan next door for her support and for the horses, and that was when I decided to buy Denby. It was a big gift, but Denby has played a major part in Abigail’s recovery. Horses were what got Abigail out of bed on a lot of mornings, and once Denby was hers, Abigail took on the responsibility as much as she could. She’d get up early before school to go to him and help Joan, she was there every day after school. It took a long while, but it helped her to come out of her shell again.’
‘Horses can be your best friends,’ Hazel agreed.
‘Julie’s guilt almost ate her up; it’s why she didn’t fight for custody. She doubted herself, she felt she couldn’t parent, and I let her think that.’ When he felt her questioning him without words, he told her, ‘It was the best thing for Abigail and Julie acknowledges that she was too much of a mess to be a full-time parent. But I hope in time she and Abigail see much more of each other. Do you know, Abigail actually told her not to feel guilty?’
‘Really? That sounds wiser than any ten-year-old should be.’
‘You’re telling me. But hearing Julie tell me about her talk with Abigail made me see how much frustration and resentment I’ve been holding onto as well. How I’ve let the accident influence the way I behave.’ He swigged his beer before his daughter came back over as she spotted their waffles arriving on a tray carried by a young girl who worked there.
