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“Uh,” he says quietly. “She’s busy.”
They walk away without another word, leaving me with my confused friends and Devon Miles Smith. How to explain this...
“Oh my god.” Kayla says to herself, like she found a hair in her food. “No. No? Yes?” She locks onto my eyes, waiting, and I honestly don’t know how to respond. I’m certainly not going to be the one to admit Kayla possibly connected the dots, because there’s also a possibility shedidn’t.
“What’s happening here?” Juniper asks quietly.
“I never know,” Devon Miles Smith says in an equally low voice as he picks through his food. “I’m just here to be entertained.”
“Saine.” Kayla places her hand gently on my arm. “Do I need to be clearer?”
“No,” I say with a sigh. “I know what you’re asking; I’ve hadyears of practice in understanding you.”
I should test the waters with them, to see if I’ll sink or swim with Corrine. They know the tense and vague history between Holden, Corrine, and me, so they can tell me straight up if this is a horrible idea that I should abandon before I even need to tell Corrine. I’ll use this as the rehearsal before the first take.
I suck in a deep breath and mentally callAction!“I haven’t gotten to tell Corrine yet. It was a clusterfuck yesterday and it wasn’t my choice and, I don’t know, it just made sense. Don’t say anything. I’m going to tell her.”
At this, Juniper frowns. She’s the newest addition to our friend group and can’t always keep up. “I don’t speak Kayla yet. What’s going on?”
“Holden is my new documentary subject. And even though he’s definitely evil and I still hate him, I have to hate him just a little less right now so that I can work with him and get into Temple.” I look from one face to the other, holding my breath. “Do you think she’ll be really mad?”
Juniper taps electric-yellow nails against the table. She’ll tell me what I want to hear, even though I know it might not be right. “No,” she says sympathetically, “you’re probably just thinking it’ll be worse than it will be. She’s over him and you’re just doing what you have to.” She smiles. “There was no other choice.”
I find the strength to force a smile back. “Yeah, I had no other choice.”
But is that the truth, or just what I want to be the truth to make up for the fact that I jumped a little too eagerly into the easy way out of this documentary mess?
I know something’s up when my mom takes the night off work, but she doesn’t let on any problems, any impending sex talks that will leave me in tears from laughter, so I wait to question her. I let her night unfurl as planned and go along for the ride.
“We just passed the exit.” I point out the passenger window, but the sign is behind us by now, my body moving a few seconds too slow for my mind’s liking thanks to the food coma I’m slipping into. She knew just how to butter me up with breakfast for dinner at the Around the Clock diner a few minutes from home. “Where are we going?”
“I’m kidnapping you.”
“By that logic, you’re kidnapping me every time we go anywhere together.”
“That’s not true. Sometimes youwantto go with me.” She flicks her turn signal on and merges into the exit lane.
“That’s what you think.”
We turn onto a residential road and pull up in front of a large tan brick building with old air conditioners stuffed in the windows every few feet. It’s an apartment building with a sign reading: “Now Leasing!”
“Uh, what’s going on?” If we’re visiting someone, I’d like some heads-up. And a say in the matter. For a fleeting moment, I wonder if I’m about to have my dad sprung on me. I haven’t seen him in years, since he first moved to Brooklyn, and now is not the time for a reunion.
My mom parks the car in an empty spot and unbuckles herseat belt. “I have an appointment to see an apartment. I wanted you to see it, too.”
“Why are you looking at apartments?” I ask, unbuckling. “Are you moving out? Is this because I keep trying to summon Beetlejuice? Because that seems unfair considering you were the one who showed me the movie.”
She laughs, but it’s not funny. “You know we can’t stay at Grandma’s forever.”
“Why not?” I was under the impression that it was exactly what we were going to do.
“You’re going to be away at school the next few years, for most of the year, and then you’ll move out, and what am I supposed to do with a three-bedroom home with a huge backyard, finished basement, and a swimming pool? It’ll sell, and it’ll sell quick, if I get a move on it.”
I blink. “I don’t understand why you’d want to sell the house, though.”
Sure, it’ll be a bit big for just her, but she grew up in it. After my parents parted ways,Igrew up in it. I can’t imagine living somewhere else. How can she?
“It’s not that Iwant tonecessarily. I need to.” She sighs. “It just makes sense, financially and emotionally.”
