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A major miracle has happened. I have some time to myself. Mike has taken Paul for a walk!
Roxy
Ha-ha! Amazing, Bella. It’s 11 a.m. on Sunday, so let me guess, Soph, you’re on the massive terrace, waiting for King Cromwell to return with brunch?
Me
Correct…
Roxy
Cut to the chase, how’s the sex? Any better?
Me
Nope. I’m still not feeling much. There’s no passion. It’s all a bit colour-by-numbers. I know it’s bad, but sometimes I’m tempted to bring my Rabbit with me to use so I could remind myself what it’s like to really come…
Roxy
Oh shit, that bad?
Me
It’s not bad per se. He’s a decent size, he does the right things in general. But whilst he’s panting about how great it feels and how much he’s enjoying himself, I’m thinking about what I need to order from Ocado. That can’t be right.
Roxy
Hell no! If he’s pushing the right buttons, you shouldn’t even be able tothinkclearly. You should be overcome—pardon the pun—with desire and everything should feel fuzzy and just WOW!
Me
Exactly. But for some reason it’s just not happening…
Roxy
Clearly you just don’t have a sexual connection. What about kissing? Anything there?
Me
He only does it in the bedroom for a few seconds as part of his rote foreplay and I still don’t feel anything…
Roxy
Well, kissing is important. I remember reading an article in Stylist magazine that said kissing allows us to see how compatible we are with a guy and that when we get close to them, their lips give off pheromones or a special smell. Basically, you can find someone attractive like you do with Charlie, but then when you go to kiss them, you don’t feel a thing because their pheromones just don’t float your boat.
Me
That would make sense…
Roxy
It’s something to do with genes—apparently we’re most attracted to men with genes or a smell that’s different to ours. It also said women see kissing as a way to weed out boyfriends, so most would dump them if the first kiss felt wrong.
Me
Well, yeah, the first kiss wasn’t mind-blowing, but I thought it would get better…
Roxy
