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Chapter Forty-One
As soon as I saw him walk towards the cab, flashing his big smile, my heart skipped a beat.
‘Hello, my beauty,’ Lorenzo said as he climbed into the back seat to join me. ‘Come here!’ he said, pulling me towards him in a tight embrace.
We held each other for ages before Lorenzo released me and began kissing me so forcefully, I thought my mouth was going to fall off. And I enjoyed every single second. God, I’d missed him. I hadn’t realised quite how much until I’d felt his lips and body against mine.
Now that my pregnancy had been confirmed, tonight I wanted to tell him about the situation face-to-face. And by the situation, I meant the pregnancy and the fact that there was a slim chance it could be Charlie’s baby. It was more likely to be Lorenzo’s, though, surely? We’d been at it constantly for weeks. Although, as my doctor had pointed out, it only took the once, so that wasn’t entirely relevant.
To find out for sure, I could do a prenatal paternity test, but because it involved inserting a needle through my abdomen or inserting a tube to get a sample of fluid from the womb, it was risky and could lead to miscarriage. Or I could hold on until the baby was born and do a paternity test by doing a cheek swab.
As frustrating as it might be not knowing who the father was, it was a no brainer. I would wait.
Baby.
Me? I’m actually having a baby.
Unbelievable.
Amazing.
Absolutely, bloody terrifying.
How had this happened? Okay, I wasn’t stupid, I know how things happenedbiologically, but…
I’d thought it was too late for me, that I didn’t have a chance of this happening naturally, so in that respect, I was completely and utterly overjoyed. I had started thinking about whether it will be a boy or a girl, who it would look like, what they’d be called, how they’d sound when they started talking. What it would feel like to hold my baby in my arms for the first time…I had spent hours dreaming about it.
But then, I’d start shitting myself. What if my age caused complications? I’d read about the challenges online, so what if something went wrong?
And what the hell did I know about how to raise a baby to ensure it grew it into a fully functioning adult? Sometimes it was hard enough just looking after myself, never mind a tiny, delicate human.
Then there was the business. How would I even cope with running that too? I knew the team had been great, but I’d still need to keep on top of things.
How would it all work with Lorenzo, anyway? Would he be okay to move over here? It would mean upping sticks and finding a permanent job to be with us. Things seemed to be going well at the restaurant now, but what if he didn’t want to live in London? And what if we did spend months building our lives together, the baby was born and we then discovered he wasn’t even the father?
Fuck.
My head was spinning. This was too much to take in. I wanted to tell myself it was going to be okay, but I wasn’t convinced that it would be. Especially when I hadn’t even figured out how best to tell him.
Every time I tried to think about planning the conversation, anotherwhat if…?question popped into my head and I would end up stressing even more, so I’d have to abandon my thoughts.
The most important thing right now was to be honest and tell Lorenzo straight away. If I did it immediately, I’d be less likely to chicken out and we could discuss how best to move forward.
Telling Lorenzo straight away might have been my intention. But, as I’ve mentioned before, I was hopeless around this man. Lorenzo did to me what kryptonite does to Superman. I lost all my powers and was rendered totally and utterly his. All consciousness and logic went out the window.
So, of course, rather than spending the rest of that night and all of his day off talking sensibly about our future, he reacquainted me with his flat. Frolicking on the bed, sofa, floor, kitchen worktops, in the shower and against the walls was all as marvellous as I remembered…
Never mind dancing on the ceiling, Mr Lionel Richie. If we could’ve found a way to fuck on it, we would have done that too.
I wondered if I could ever tire of sex with this man. He amazed me every time.
It was now Wednesday morning.I couldn’t leave it any longer to tell him. The timing wasn’t perfect, but would it ever be?
‘Lorenzo?’ I said, unspooning myself from his embrace and facing him. ‘Are you awake?’
‘Yes, beauty,’ he croaked, stirring a little. ‘I am tired, but awake. Must get up soon.’
‘Before you do, there’s something important I need to tell you.’ I sat up abruptly in the bed. ‘I–I… well, there’s no easy way to say this…’ I took a deep breath and then blurted out: ‘I…I’m pregnant.’
