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‘Yep! Younger guys tell me women their age can be immature or play games, which they don’t get with a mature lady like me. I’m much more confident and self-assured since my divorce, and I think that attitude gives off a vibe that men like.’
‘I’ve heard that too, Roxy,’ said Bella in agreement as she stabbed her fork into another sliver of tuna. ‘One of Mike’s cousins is in his late twenties and likes to date women in their thirties and forties. It’s not as uncommon as you think, Soph. Either way, younger or older, a smart, ambitious, beautiful woman like you is definitelynotgoing to have a problem finding some male company again, trust us!’
‘Tell her, Bella!’ added Roxy. ‘What you need to figure out first and foremost, Soph, is what you really want. Another long-term relationship? I mean, it’s up to you, but surely thelastthing you need right now is to tie yourself down. I reckon you should get out there and have some fun. At least for a while. You’ve worked damned hard for years and have spent so long withering away in that relationship. You need to let loose. Hit the dating sites hard: Tinder, Bumble, OKCupid—get on them all. Go out, meet people in real life and get your leg over. You don’t want to be a MARGIN forever!’
Oh, here we go. Roxy and her acronyms.
‘Awhat?’ asked Bella, clearly reading my mind. ‘What’s a MARGIN, Roxy?’
Roxy rolled her eyes in ahow do you not know what it means?fashion. She sighed:
‘You know, aMARGIN?’ Bella and I both shook our heads in unison. Roxy sighed again before explaining: ‘A middle-aged virgin. You know, theM-Astands for middle-aged, and theR-G-I-Nis for virgin?’ Her voice went up an octave in disbelief. Our faces were still blank.
‘Oh, what am I going to do with you two?’ she said, voice not dissimilar to a schoolteacher being forced to explain the alphabet to a twenty-year-old.
‘A middle-aged virgin is someone in their thirties and forties—in fact, any adult who hasn’t had sex for so long that technically, they’re like a born-again virgin. It’s a term normally reserved for those experiencing an extensive period of sexual drought, typically of six months or more,’ she added matter-of-factly.
‘Ah, I see…’ said Bella as the penny started to drop.
‘There are many reasons for MARGINITY,’ added Roxy as she started cutting up her Carpaccio of Beef. ‘And before you glaze over again, MARGINITY is middle-aged virginity. It’s not just singles and divorcees that are MARGINS. It could be women who are in a relationship, but are so exhausted from looking after the kids that they just don’t do it anymore, or they might have been married for a while and don’t fancy their partner or vice versa. You’d be surprised how many couples sleep in separate rooms,’ she said as she put a forkful of food into her mouth. ‘It’s not even just restricted to women. There are more MARGINS out there than you’d imagine!’
I devoured one of my sautéed scallops. This was actually fascinating, and itdefinitelyapplied to me.
‘How do you know all this?’ asked Bella as we both leaned in.
‘Well,’ replied Roxy as she repositioned herself, ‘when I was finding myself again, I read a lot of books and studies, not just about healing yourself, but also about sex and relationships, and apparently, we’re having less nookie in the 2010s than in the nineties. These days everyone’s too busy on their phones tweeting and watching Netflix to get some adult time. Most people don’t even have sex once a month!’ she said, exasperated, as if it was the equivalent of a century.
‘Pff!’ I scoffed.She thinks once a month isn’t often?It had beenat leastsix months since I’d had any action. Probably more like nine, or maybe even twelve…? Shit.
‘Well, Soph, you know better than anyone that when you’re in a long-term relationship, one month without sex can quickly become two, then six, and before you know it, a year has passed,’ said Roxy as if reading my thoughts. ‘Hell, some people haven’t had it for years. Those are the fully fledged, stalwart MARGINs.’
‘Yeah, I can see how that can happen,’ added Bella.
‘The more you talk to people, the more common you see it is,’ said Roxy. ‘Particularly amongst women who may have married young, had their kids early and spent years raising them. Then they reach their forties, realise they want to start living their lives and get divorced, but then have to start navigating the whole dating scene all over again. It can be hard. But, Ms Huntingdon, you shall be a MARGIN no more!’ she added excitedly.
‘If you say so, Rox,’ I said, smirking.
‘Naturally, you probably need to take a bit of time to find yourself again and get used to your new single status, but in a few weeks’ time, I reckon you should get back on the horse and find a man with a giant duster to blast away the cobwebs down under!’ She shrieked with laughter. Not only was Roxy the queen of acronyms, at times she was also the queen of crude.
‘A few weeks?’ I replied, surprise evident in my voice. ‘This is a man I spent fifteen years with, not fifteen minutes. I think I’m going to need longer than that, Roxy.’
‘Like I said, Soph, if you had the emotional trauma and baggage I was carrying after an acrimonious divorce, then perhaps I’d agree with you. But you’remuchstronger than I ever was, and I reckon a wild night of passion with a hot guy will make you feel awholelot better,’ Roxy said, plastering a wicked grin all over her face.
‘Roxy, I know what I said earlier about being nearly thirty-nine and worrying about turning into a spinster, but I don’t want to rush into anything. I was just being weak. In truth, I know I don’t need a man to complete me,’ I said robotically. ‘I’ll be just fine on my own.’
‘Hello? Soph?’ shouted Roxy. ‘It’s me! You’re not the keynote speaker at a women’s lib convention. You can spout that independent stuff all you want and, yes, you are right—hence why I’ve not raced to shack up with someone.But, equally Soph, you are awoman, and sometimes a woman needs the touch of a hot man! It doesn’t make you weak, or less of a feminist . It makes youhuman. Sex is recognised as a basic human need. And after the drought in your knickers, I’m guessing you need to lose your MARGINITY more than most!’
She wasn’t wrong, and although experiencing passionwason my secret MAP list, the prospect of going through all the dating site rigmarole to try and meet a guy, or even getting physical with one, stirred up a new level of trepidation that I wasn’t ready to address quite yet.
‘I can’t disagree that Iwouldlike to experience some long-overdue passion, Roxy, but right now, maybe I need to just focus on me and getting my head together. Perhaps I just need a bit of time out. I don’t mean wallowing at home. I did enough of that last weekend. I mean perhaps a change of scenery,’ I said, considering my next move.
‘Yes!’ said Bella in agreement. ‘You need a holiday, or maybe one of your spa breaks?’ Bella’s mention of a spa break also reminded me of another MAP point and my plan to do something different and more educational this year.
Our main courses arrived, and Roxy wasted no time getting stuck in.
‘I’m all spa’d out, to be honest, Bella, but you’re right. I think I’ll book a holiday. Something different this time, though, where I’m doing something productive and fulfilling, like photography or—’
‘Mmm,’ interrupted Roxy as her eyes rolled with pleasure. ‘This pasta is absolutely divine. It’salmostas good as an orgasm, I swear. Taste it!’ She stabbed a piece of lobster then twirled the tagliatelle around her fork and pushed it towards my mouth. She was right. How had I not ordered this before? The food here was alwayssogood.
