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Chapter Twenty-Three
Naturally, the minute I stepped off the plane at Gatwick, I switched on my phone to check whether Lorenzo had messaged. Sure enough, he’d replied within the golden two-hour window with four messages (still never understood why he couldn’t just put everything in one):
Lorenzo
Sorry, Sophia, you have reason
Lorenzo
It is a bad time right now but maybe your smile would have helped me
Lorenzo
Good for you…glad you enjoyed your time in Florence without me
Lorenzo
Have a safe flight
Awww.He sounds so sad, I thought to myself. Then I started wondering whether he’d found my message too harsh, confident andscrew you? Without thinking, I messaged back quickly:
Me
Are you okay?
As soon as I’d sent it, I realised what a ridiculous question that was. Clearly he wasnotokay. That’s what he’d said, right? So why had I asked him that?
Then I came to my senses and wondered why the hell I was even consideringhisfeelings afterhe’dstoodmeup. At that point, I switched my phone off and started flicking throughPsychologiesmagazine to try and take my mind off things.
And now here I was back home, annoyingly still with thoughts of him in my mind, but feeling glad that I’d been brave enough to go to Florence on my own and make the most of what could have been an awful trip if I’d allowed it to get me down.
This time around, I was actually relieved that I couldn’t feasibly take any extra time off work tomorrow as, in addition to all of the campaigns we had running at the moment, I had a new business meeting with one of the top facialists in Chelsea, who wanted us to manage a project to promote her new facial. Then I was seeing Monique for drinks as I hadn’t had a catch-up with her since my birthday and she’d be heading back to America for six months soon. Plus I was following Bella’s advice and trying to keep myself busy.
‘So that’s where I left it. I stupidly asked if he was okay and I haven’t heard from him since. Normally he replies within a few hours.’ I’d recounted the whole story to Monique whilst she glared at me, rolling her eyes so hard I thought they were going to come right out of their sockets.
Oh dear. Take cover, people. I fear fire will be shooting from her mouth imminently.
‘Girl, well, first of all, I think you done messed up,’ she said, scowling. ‘I’m sorry, honey, but as a career woman running her own business, how can you condemn a man for working? Surely you ofallpeople must understand how these things go. Sometimes things come up at the last minute and you have no choice but to go take care of your shit.’
‘I hear what you’re saying, Monique, but—’ Before I even had a chance to finish my sentence, she butted in again.
‘You could have tried to see if you could have met him briefly whilst you were there,’ she scolded. ‘Or you could have changed your flight. Butoh no, you got struck down with that whole Independent Woman Syndrome, decided to ghost him and just go anyway because yousostrong and you won’t letnoman dictate your life. Andthen, ifthatwasn’t enough, you send him a message which basically says, “I don’t need you. I can go to Florence all by my damn self and have an amazing timewithoutyou”.’ I could tell her frustration was building with every word.
‘Well, Monique, Icango to Florence and have a good timewithouta man,’ I replied defensively.
‘Sophia,’ she continued, this time softening her voice a little, ‘you gotta realise that men are very sensitive souls and you have damaged his ego. It sounds like he’s going through a tough time and you’ve just pissed all over him. And then you ask if he’s okay? I don’t even know what to tell you right now!’ She crossed her arms and leant back in her chair.
I was dumbfounded. As usual, Monique didn’t hold back. True. I had never thought about it from that point of view, but surely she couldn’t be saying it was my fault.Come on!If I hadn’t contacted him, who’s to say he would have even bothered to tell me he was working? Anyway, the past had gone. What I needed to figure out was how best to move forward.
‘I see what you’re saying, Monique, and I know it’s a casual thing, so strictly speaking, he didn’t owe me anything. But at the end of the day, he essentially stood me up. And it’s not like he made suggestions to meet another time, or showed any kind of real remorse, so you don’t really expect me to feel sorry for him, surely?’ I snapped.
‘Honey, I know you think I’m being hard on you, but it’s only because I’ve made those same mistakes and seen my friends do it too. I’m just saying, keep an open mind, and sometimes you need to be gentle with a man’s ego. I know so many women who think that liking a man or doing things to please him makes them weak, and so they put their guard up and act all tough. But too many of them are also alone. It’s okay to be vulnerable, and sometimes you need to give people the benefit of the doubt. You don’t know about their lives and what they’re going through.’
‘Yes,’ I said, interjecting. ‘Maybe, buthecould have handled it better!’
‘Agreed,’ she added. ‘But I really don’t think you’ve considered it fully. Okay, think of it as an employer, from a business perspective. You need one of your key workers to come in at the last minute. How well would it go down if they turned around and said, “Sorry, I can’t, Sophia. I’ve got to go and fuck some girl I’ve only known for a couple of weeks”? It ain’t gonna happen, sugar. Then think of it from Lorenzo’s position. No man, especially one that hot, who probably has pussy on tap, is going to risk his job just for some sweet British apple pie.’
Hmm. As much as I hated to admit it, whilst I didn’t agree with everything, she’d made some valid arguments.
