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‘Okay, Monique, point taken,’ I replied, ‘but I still don’t see why I have to worry about his feelings when he didn’t give a shit about mine.’
‘Honey, you don’t,’ Monique said before taking a sip of her cocktail. ‘You don’t have to do a damn thing. Hell, you can take your phone out right now, delete his number and never speak to him again. It’s your call. But I can tell by the way you’re getting all worked up that you like this guy. So if you do, consider keeping your options open with him in case you decide to give him a second chance, which, even if you want to, won’t be possible if you make him feel like shit and act like you don’t need him.’
I mulled her comments over in my mind once again. My objective hadn’t changed, so maybe I could give him the opportunity to redeem himself?
‘Okay, Monique. The benefit of the doubt. I guess that’s possible,’ I said. ‘I was thinking—there’s a big food festival called Savour London taking place in a few weeks. Maybe I could invite him over here to come with me to that?’ She leaned in a little. ‘When I was Facebook stalking Lorenzo, I saw that he’d done a bit of travelling and had worked in Singapore and LA in different restaurants, so clearly he likes to get international experience. That’s why I thought if he came, maybe he could do some networking. What do you think?’
‘Honey, it’s worth a try,’ she said calmly. ‘What have you got to lose? Invite him, and if he’s up for it, then great. If he says he’s working, which based on what you’ve told me seems pretty likely, but suggests an alternative option, pursue it. If he doesn’t, then leave it.’
‘Yes, agreed. I already think I’m being generous, but I’ll give him one more shot. Only because I genuinely felt a connection. But maybe it was just in my head. It’d be a whole lot easier if I just knew what he was thinking. Is he interested, or does he just consider it a one-night thing? I’ll just be direct and ask him if he’s into me or not.’
‘Oh God, honey. This isn’t how it works. Don’t ask him if he likes you—it isn’t the tenth grade!’
‘Why the hell not? I’ll see how I feel later, but I wasn’t into games and this “women should do this and say that” bullshit and all the dating rules I’m supposed to follow. If you don’t know something, the easiest way to find out is to ask, right? What’s the point in guessing? Just ask the question, get the answer and save wasting any more time.’
‘Look. It’s up to you, Sophia, and I hate to break it to you, but when it comes to men, just because youaska question doesn’t mean you’ll actually get a straight answer. I say keep it simple. He seems like he has a lot on his plate, as do you, so you don’t have time for overthinking. Invite him to the event and see what happens.’
Well, Monique had certainly given me some food for thought. One thing was for sure—if I was going to message him again, this time, I wasn’t going to rush into it. I’d put thoughts of him to one side, focus on my work and message him when I was good and ready.
It was now Saturday afternoon,and so it had been five days since I’d sent the ‘are you okay?’ message. I was meeting Bella in a few hours for dinner and wasn’t working today, so it was a good enough time to message Lorenzo.
I drafted a message. Read over it once, and then again. It was a little gushy for my liking, but I was trying to take on board the fact that Monique said I’d probably damaged his ego. If I was honest, I still felt likeheshould be the one apologising tome, but I bit the bullet and sucked up a little and followed his multiple-message approach:
Me
Hey, Lorenzo, just thinking I messaged back to ask if you were okay but didn’t get to reply to your other messages before I got on the plane. Whilst I had a good time in Italy, it would have been better if I’d seen you too.
Me
Sorry to hear you’re going through a difficult time. Wish I could be there to give you lots of hugs and long kisses and make you feel better.
Me
You sound like you’ve been working really hard and need a break. Would you like to see me again? I felt like we had a connection. Do you feel the same, or is it just my imagination?
Me
There’s a big food festival soon with lots of top chefs, so it might be good for you to network/see what opportunities there are to work at some of London’s best restaurants—I’m sure they’re always looking for talented people like you. I’ll send you some links. Let me know if you’d like to come…
I fired off some links to the website, which showed the different chefs and restaurants who would be at the festival, dates, etc.
I knew Monique had said not to ask if he wanted to see me again, but I needed to know one way or the other. All this second-guessing was driving me mental.
At least I had a packed week ahead at work, and then Roxy had suggested that rather than her coming along tonight, I could come and stay over at her house next weekend. I was definitely up for that. Too much time alone for me lately equalled overthinking…
Bella hadn’t got a chance to read my WhatsApp messages properly as reception was poor at the place she was staying at in Cornwall and the Wi-Fi was rubbish too, so we’d agreed to discuss everything tonight.
We went to Berner’s Tavern, another favourite spot of ours. Despite being very glamorous, with its grand stately home-esque dining room, giant chandeliers, intricate plasterwork, zillions of gilt-framed photos and paintings of varying sizes adorning the grand and towering walls, it wasn’t at all poncy and had friendly staff as well as a down-to-earth yet chic feel. We liked it here.
By the time we’d ordered our mains, I’d brought her up to date on everything, including Monique’s controversial take on the situation and my recent message (which I’d sent four and a half hours ago and was yet to receive a reply…).
‘I see what Monique’s saying,’ she said, taking a sip of her prosecco, ‘but like I said in my WhatsApp message, at the end of the day, Soph, I just think some people are there to serve a purpose. And Lorenzo was there to show you that you are desirable and to remind you what you’ve been missing. So now he’s done that, personally I think you should move on.’
‘Hmm,’ I said, pondering the two conflicting pieces of advice I’d received about Lorenzo this week. ‘But I have an objective. And when I set my mind to something, I don’t like to stop until I achieve that goal.’
‘I know you wanted to use that weekend to build on your experience, but from what you’ve told me, his life seems complicated. He works a lot, which I know you can understand, but he also doesn’t seem entirely reliable, so maybe draw a line under him, and if you really want to achieve your ‘objective’, as you call it, and get some action, look closer to home. Join some dating sites like Roxy suggested. You don’t have to get on a plane and travel thousands of miles to do that.’
I took a moment to consider her suggestion. ‘Yes,’ I said. ‘Maybe it’s time to bite the bullet and get on those apps, as I’m definitely ready to meet someone. Tomorrow I’ll have a lazy day in bed and sign myself up. No point hanging around. Need to be proactive. I feel so much better now, thank you. Have you ever thought about being a professional agony aunt or a counsellor? You’d be so good at it!’
