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‘Come on, Soph, that’s an easy one. Friend with benefits? The twenty-six-year-old I’ve been screwing? Remember?’ she said matter-of-factly.
I racked my brains. Nope. Nothing.
‘Is that the one that plays football?’ I asked, still trying to scan my memory for clues.
‘No! That was Wayne. He was like two months ago. This isDanny. I mean actually, he’s more of a FB than an FWB, because technically we’re not really friends. And before you ask, FB is fuck buddy. More casual. We’re always safe, of course, but it’s purely fun, nothing less, nothing more.’
‘I don’t believe you’ve mentioned him to me, Roxy. I really don’t know how you do it. How do you switch off? How do you not get carried away and start planning your future and all that stuff that even the most sensible, logical woman might be tempted to do?’ I asked, clearly with myself in mind.
‘Fuck that future shit,’ she shouted. ‘Remember, been there, done that, worn the t-shirt. I have no intention of getting shackled again. I’ve got a lot of time to make up for, and I’m still having fun. So that helps me not to get carried away. But also, I keep my options open and see other people too. That way I don’t have all of my eggs in one basket or waste time sitting around waiting for one guy to call me,’ she explained casually. ‘Why? You’re not still pining over the chef, are you?’
‘Oh God, no. That’s done. Finished. I’m over him now,’ I said as convincingly as I could. ‘No, it’s just this guy Charlie—’ Before I had a chance to finish she jumped in.
‘Charlie? Who the fuck is Charlie? You didn’t tell me about him! I thought you said you didn’t have any stories. Tell me now!’ she said, sounding like a showbiz reporter desperate for the latest celeb gossip.
I recounted the story of what had happened.
‘Oooh, this is exciting, Soph!’ Roxy said enthusiastically. ‘It’s been, what, about a month since you drew a line under the whole Lorenzo thing? And you’re picking up men left, right and centre, aren’t you? Can’t believe you’ve pulled a billionaire. Who needs Tinder? Just drive like a madwoman and a rich toff can be yours!’ she cackled.
‘Well, Roxy, we don’t actually know he’s rich, and I’m not bothered by that anyway—I’ve got my own money, and I never want to be one of those women who just goes out with a guy so he can pay for everything. Not my style,’ I insisted.
‘Chill, Soph—I’m only joking! A lot of the rich ones are arrogant wankers anyway, and that’s the last thing either of us needs in our lives,’ she said.
‘I was just really taken by his kindness, and now I’m starting to get carried away, wondering if we will go on that date, how it will go, what will happen next. And I can’t allow myself to get sucked in again,’ I said like an addict on the verge of relapsing.
‘Honey, the best way to avoid that is to keep those options open. If he’s the only romantic prospect you have, you’ll put all of your focus on him and that’ll be disastrous. Especially if your goal is still to have a bit of fun. My advice is to get back on those sites and organise some more dates. You did well last week, but you’ve got to keep the momentum going.’
‘Yep, you’re right,’ I said.
‘Exactly. So keep the Tinder thing going, but also try some of the others. Maybe a paid one like Match.com. Or, I know…’ she said like she’d just had a brainwave. ‘Try Bumble. As a control freak and a lady who isn’t afraid to take charge, that’d be right up your street, because only the women can make the first move. Stops a bunch of creeps you’re not interested in from contacting you.’
‘Hmm, that sounds like a plan. Thanks. I guess that’s this evening’s activities sorted, then. I’ll get on those tonight, then message you later to let you know how it goes.’
‘Good luck, Soph! Now stop all this gossiping, young lady, and get back to work. You’ve got a PR empire to run!’
Keeping my options open. Signing up to some different dating sites. Taking control. Yes. I liked the sound of that.
Let online datinground twocommence…
