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‘What, there’s more?’ asked Roxy, looking curious and excited in equal measures. ‘Did he ask you to shave your hair on your head off too?’ She threw her head back, cackling.
‘Well, that wouldneverhappen!’ I said, horrified at the thought of ever choosing to chop off my locks for a man. I definitely considered it my crowning glory. ‘In a nutshell, he wanted to make a porno with me.’
‘No way!’ said Bella, her jaw literally falling to the floor.
‘Yes,way!’ I confirmed.
‘Welcome to the new world of dating, Soph,’ said Roxy matter-of-factly. ‘Doesn’t surprise me in the slightest.’
‘Well, it sure as hell shocked me. I even had nightmares about it afterwards. I know some guys just make them for themselves to watch at home, but could you imagine if he’d filmed me, put it online and then all my clients, my team, the journalists and—gosh, my bloody parents had seen it?’ I shivered just thinking about how years of reputation-building could have been shattered in seconds.
‘You’re right, Soph,’ said Bella.
‘I mean, how would I be able to pitch to some of the biggest beauty CEOs knowing they’d seen my butt and boobs jiggling all over the place? I’d be ruined!’ I said. ‘And for what? A few seconds of frustration with a guy I was just talking to out of sympathy and, dare I say it, slight desperation? This dating is fucking scary shit.’
‘It’s scary times and a world away from when I was dating before I met Mike,’ said Bella. ‘Cameras are everywhere and any sleazy guy can film you without you knowing—on the train, in the gym, in your home. Technology can be lethal in the wrong hands. You had a lucky escape, hon.’
‘Definitely! That’s it, though, ladies,’ I said, firmly planting my glass on the table. ‘I’m taking a break from the dating sites. It’s doing my head in. I’ve realised that men are men whether it’s on a hook-up site like Tinder or a paid site like Match.com. I’m not saying there aren’t decent guys on there or that I’m giving up forever, but I’ve had quite enough disappointment from swiping over these past few weeks to last me at least a few months.’
‘Oh, that’s a shame,’ said Roxy. ‘I was finding all of your dating disasters quite entertaining!’
‘Bloody cheek!’ I said, laughing. ‘Well, you know me. I get bored easily, so you never know, I might change my mind about the apps. Fear not, though, my friends. Like I said, there may well still be at least one decent guy out there, as remember, all being well, I have my date with Charlie this Friday. Lord only knows what tales I’ll have to tell during our next catch-up…’
