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Georgina shrugged. “My speech was compared to that of a wounded waterfowl.”
Lilian gave her a wry smile. “I don’t think I would have enjoyed being a countess either, at any rate. Even in New York, our family’s pedigree doesn’t stretch back far enough for some. I would have been disparaged the same as you and not handled the ridicule nearly as well. You will have to speak to Father at some point, you know.”
“I’ve spoken to him. I think he’d like to send me back to England where he can forget he has another daughter. Perhaps have me ruin myself for a duke this time so he can add another title to the family.” Georgina’s eyes ran over Daniel. “But I’m not going back. Ever.”
“No, you are not.” Lilian’s eyes widened. “Oh. He’s kicking.”
“He?” Georgina placed her hand on the small mound, brushing her fingers against Daniel’s cheek.
He smiled up at her, taking Georgina’s breath away.
“William insists the child will be a boy. You know how men are. They want a son to carry on the family name.”
“Then it’s a pity Ben won’t change his to please Father.” Ben had been her father’s son in everything but name from the moment he appeared on the Rutherford doorstep that cold, winter day. But Ben didn’t always agree with her father and refused to be put under Jacob Rutherford’s thumb. “I don’t think all men want a child to carry on their name.”
Leo hadn’t.
Georgina had had nothing to do but think while on her way from London to Boston where theBetty Suedocked. She’d spent quite a lot of her time thinking of Leo and wondering at the events that had shaped him.
Leo Murphy was a highly complicated, brilliant man who brandished his illegitimacy at the world like a weapon, using it to both excuse his actions and to protect himself. Instead of remaining in the shadow of the Barringtons, Leo deliberately chose to operate a gambling hell and pleasure palace which catered to the very people who looked down their noses at him. He demanded attention with his charming manner even while his gaudy waistcoats sent a clear message.Don’t mistake me for one of you.
The attraction between them had been immediate and mutual but instead of seducing her outright, he’d gone out of his way to make their encounter nothing more than a wager. He couldn’t afford to allow their joining to have any meaning.
Because he was a bastard.
Because he thought his illegitimacymatteredto her.
“You’re thinking of him, aren’t you? Daniel’s father. You get a faraway look in your eyes when he crosses your mind. Wistful. As if you’re remembering a wonderful dream. I think you would feel better, Georgina, if you—”
“No,” she snapped, startling Daniel who regarded her with Leo’s eyes. “I’m sorry, my love.” She patted her son’s back before ruffling his hair. “Mommy’s sorry.”
Georgina had never told Ben or Lilian about Leo, thinking that the fewer people who knew the truth, the better off she and Daniel would be. Ben probably knew. He’d taken a trip to London after he arrived with Lilian. Exploring opportunities, he’d said. But Georgina knew her cousin.
“Ma.” Daniel patted her knee with one small hand. “Ma.”
The most perfect bloom of love opened up in her chest. “Yes. Mommy.”
“You love him. Daniel’s father.” Lilian’s casual statement hung in the air between them.
Yes, she did, even after everything that had happened. She also hated Leo for caring more about his illegitimacy than her. Or Daniel. She’d screamed for Leo as she brought Daniel into the world. Wanting him so badly she’d nearly had Stella send for him.
“I did the right thing. He didn’t want a child, especially a bastard.”
“But he cares for you. You’ve admitted that much to me. I think he would want to know, Georgina.”
“It’s far too late for that now. Telling him would serve no purpose other than to alleviate my own guilt. Because if itdidmatter to him, the fact that I hid Daniel and fled to America without telling him would make him hate me, don’t you think?” Georgina didn’t think she could bear that. Leo’s hatred.
Lilian gave her a worried look. “Possibly. But—”
“What’s done is done, Lilian.”
Lilian finally gave a delicate roll of her shoulders and looked in the direction of the house. “William will be home soon if he isn’t already prowling about. Will you stay for supper?”
“No, I don’t think so.” William wasn’t overly fond of Georgina, nor she of him. She’d met him briefly during the social season some years ago. The scandal between her and John Winbow had been months away and William hadn’t yet decided to court Lilian or caught Jacob Rutherford’s calculating eye. At their introduction, William had been polite, but disdain had fairly dripped from him as he took her hand.
Winbow, as Lilian had reminded her, wasn’t Georgina’s first venture into improper behavior, and William was rather staid and upstanding. He’d probably cheered from the docks when she was sent to England.
“I know William isn’t happy with the situation, especially lying to our parents.”
