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“Yes,” she smiled.
Taking her hand I led us to the dance floor, pulling her in until it felt like we could be one person. We swayed to the music and the words of the song hit me. It’s like it was written for us.
I stared into Becka’s eyes, full of emotion, and new she was thinking the same. The circumstances surrounding the how and where we’d fallen in love was a miracle in itself.
For the first time from as far back as I could remember I earnestly thanked God for having Becka in my life.
A gift.
One that a man like me would never deserve. I will not waist my gift. I will not stand by and watch it slowly dim as the years of darkness suck the life out of her stunning light. I wanted to see it grow brighter, just like the love I possessed for her increased every day. My devotion and love for Becka soared above anything else. The knowledge was freeing and terrifying at the same time. My movements slowed to a stop.
Becka’s expression changed to concern. Her hands moved soothingly up and down my back, eyes searching, trying to see inside my head. “Luca, are you ok?”
“Becka. If I could… I mean… If there was ever a way for us to…” My sentences kept failing. I didn’t know exactly how to say what I wanted to. Somehow, someday; I will free us.
At first her eyes narrowed in thought. I stared into them begging to her to see what I was trying to say. When her eyes widened in realization and her body stiffened in my hold I knew she understood.
“You mean…?”
“Yes, Becka. Somehow I will find a way.”
“What about Matteo?”
“You are my life Becka. My love. I love Matteo like a brother and he will be the only thing I regret leaving behind but you are all that matters to me. Your safety. Your happiness. I know you are not happy here among people you have nothing in common with. And frankly I feel myself moving further from them every time I’m in your arms. And I don’t even feel guilty about it.” My breath was a whisper in her ear. I don’t even feel the guilt of betrayal any longer. I realized not taking Becka away from all this would be the ultimate betrayal. Having this conversation in a room full of people loyal to the mafia was dangerous. But there was no helping it. Even as my head screamed that it was a bad idea, my heart said otherwise.
Becka’s eyes turned glossy as her fingers twisted my jacket in her fists. I could tell she was trying to hold herself together. I dipped my forehead to hers. She pulled me in tighter and took deep, calming, broken breaths.
“I want that Luca, but how? How could we ever get away? Where would we go?”
“I don’t have answers to those questions yet. But I will. You gave your word once. Now I’m giving you mine. I will find a way.” I took my whisper lower, cupping the back of her neck with my hands. “I promise we will be free.”
Becka let out a whimper, followed by a shaky breath. My hands moved to her waist crushing her into me. “I love you, Becka.”
“And I love you, Luca.”
* * *
The party continued on into the night, everyone laughed and danced in celebration without care. During that time I never left Becka’s side. We shared unspoken words through smiles and enlightened eyes. I sensed her impatience of wanting the party to end so we could get back home and freely continue our talk.
Arianna appeared suddenly as we stood at the bar while Becka sipped a vodka tonic and I stuck to coffee and water.
“Ok that’s enough. You two have been attached at the hip all night. Give her to me or I will be forced to make you.” Arianna narrowed her eyes with the empty threat.
Becka laughed and so did I, knowing we had maybe been a little over the top. But when Becka’s laughter died her smile left her eyes. It was a bit too tight and sad. I could only assume she was just realizing what a loss it would be for her to leave her only friend. Maybe the idea of it would be enough to make her change her mind. If that was the case I wouldn’t deny her. But hoped it wouldn’t. Becka needed to think about things in the long run and remember that her happiness was important too. She needed to put herself first for once.
When Becka turned to me and smiled bitterly I knew she came to terms with the loss that would come. I squeezed her hand in acknowledgment.
“Very well,” I blew out sarcastically, “if you must.”
“Thank you.” Arianna grinned and stole Becka’s free hand, tearing her away before I could give her a quick peck on the cheek.
I watched them move away, instantly feeling the loss.
A figure approached from the left. I turned to find Matteo staring after them as well. He leaned casually against the bar. “Did you ever think it would turn out like this?”
“No,” I sighed. “It’s even more than I could have wished for.”
Matteo nodded in understanding. “Come on. I have something I need to talk to you about.” He pushed away from the bar heading for the exit.
Out of the corner of my eye I watched him and Arianna exchange a look. Something about it made my brow quirk. What was that?
