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CHAPTERTWO
Three Years Ago
Outlaw
May the warm, gentle, beating of your heart always remind you of our love to you. Battles may seem impossible and scary but please keep in mind you are fighting for us too. Fighting to come back home. Love, mom.
Son, don’t go on the front line. It’s risky and deadly. Don’t go to the furthest back either, there, you are open for attacks. Instead, go in the middle, not because you are a coward but because you are brave enough to stay alive for the next battles.
Always praying for you. You chose this path and maybe you are always ready for what might befall you but we are not. Be safe, I still don’t have a bunch of little beings running around calling me aunt. I love you, silly. Love, Sera
You are the strongest man I know and the only person capable of doing anything and not dying. Don’t buy it when they tell you otherwise. Chris
Your little girl gets bigger every day. She’s walking, we have a video. I know you’re serving your country and keeping us safe, but please, my dear husband, come home to me. Love, your loving wife.
The letters my sister, mother, dad, wife, and little brother had written were covered in sweat in my left palm. I had neatly folded them to keep them from crumbling but the overwhelming anticipation made me tightly press it in my fist. It did not matter though as I was soon going to see every single person in that letter and I would hear them say the words they had wholeheartedly written.
I was just home from deployment and had save up enough for thirty days of leave. Much needed rest and relaxation. I text my wife that I’m heading home right after this safety brief and she texts back she’s up and fixing to get our daughter up to get ready to see daddy. The safety brief was short..
“Don’t do anything stupid,” our First Sergeant barks at us before dismissing us.
I know I won’t do anything stupid. I plan on helping my dad around the house, doing some much needed repairs, and spend time with my wife and child. It had been a long year and I was looking forward to catching up. She’ll be moving back to base with me after leave.
Everyone seemed relieved but I was more than that. I was not sure why but I was trembling. I found myself laughing quietly as I hurried back to the dorm to pick up my bag and leave. My heart was pounding like it was not at ease but my mind was clear. I had only one purpose and that was to get home. Everything else at the base would have to wait thirty days.
Some families met their loved ones outside post or those that had cars sped off like they were robbing a bank. I told my family to stay home. It’s only an hour from Fort Campbell to Nashville, and I called them last night when we got in. I refused to let them come get me, a cab would suffice.
I called the cab and checked my social media, texting my wife that I was waiting for the cab to pick me up. She didn’t reply but I figured they were busy getting ready. The cab shows up and I let her know I’m on my way home, that I should be there by 9:00 AM.
“Welcome home, soldier,” the cabbie saluted me and then he thanked me for my service.
It makes me proud when someone says that to me. I tell him thank you and he leaves me to my thoughts on the hour drive.
My parent’s car is in the driveway when I arrive. They knew I was coming home, they would wait for me. It’s a comforting feeling, coming home to familiar things.
“You have yourself a wonderful stay,” the cabbie says as I pay him.
“Thank you.”
I take a deep breath and look around the neighborhood. It’s been one year yet nothing has changed. I wave at my next-door neighbor, a middle-aged woman, who is clearly happy to see me if her grin says anything.
I smile and proceed to the front door. My heart is pounding and the closer I get, the wider my smile becomes as I imagine what their reactions will be. I know that my little brother is at school, or should be. Knowing my mother, she might have kept him home since I’m back. My sister will be at work, unless she took off of work. My homecoming has all they’ve been able to talk about since I told them the date I was coming home.
I rotate my shoulders and adjust my uniform with a final deep breath with a knock on the door. My heart is racing just like it was when I was back on base and I couldn’t stand still. It was so bad I was nearly jogging in place. It’s just as bad now.
No one comes to the door, so I knock again. The wait feels like forever even though it’s been a few minutes. Every nerve in my body is on fire and I decide to call. It’s not like this is a surprise, though maybe they are hiding.
“I see what you are doing here but I am the game master. I’ll show you how it is played,” I mutter under my breath with a chuckle.
Pushing open the door, I see that it’s all neat and tidy, just like my mom prefers it. I tiptoe through the house, the dishes are clean, the table empty, pillows organized on the couch, nothing on the carpet.
It seems a little bit off that everything seems untouched, but then again, maybe this is their way of surprising me. I look around, not wanting them to catch me unaware. I want to be a surprise still.
I proceed through the living room and into the kitchen which I could see from the front door, no one in the corner. There is a lunch box on the counter, which is weird since if my brother had gone to school, he would have taken it. My mother must have kept him home.
Even in all the cleanliness, there would be something left out, a half-eaten snack or a bowl. But there is nothing, not even a bottle for my little girl.
I am overthinking this.
