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“That’s not what I mean. I meant if you want my story, I’m getting yours. I don’t care if you think it’s juvenile.”
Okay. Well, then. They were getting personal, after all. And she thought she could make the drive without diving into those waters. But she hadn’t wanted to admit that somewhere along the way—maybe when she nearly died in that fire and Jack came to the rescue—she and Jack had crossed into personal territory. Even now, sitting next to him in the vehicle, a satisfying warmth filled her heart and a thrum had started deep in her belly.
How did she escape it? Did she even want to?
Jack cleared his throat. Oh yeah, he was waiting for an answer.
“Look, it’s no big deal. I was on a task force with several agencies when I was working undercover for the National Park Service. Jeremy was our archaeologist. He was the specialist on the team and could assist identifying some unique pieces. We worked closely together on one particular sting operation.” How did she explain without sounding weak? “I ... something terrible happened.”
Tears surged. She wouldn’t speak until she knew her voice was steady.
“Terra, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t—”
“No, it’s okay. I want your story, so I’m going to tell you mine. One of the park rangers got killed. Just some crazy person out to end his own life and take others with him. He was speeding through the park when he pulled out an assault rifle and blasted his way through the ranger parked by the road. He bled to death before help could arrive.”
She blew out a breath. “I know you’re wondering what this has to do with Jeremy. I was upset, and so ... I needed a someone. Jeremy and I turned to each other for comfort. It grew into something more than simple friendship.” She’d let her emotions get the best of her. “Obviously we’re no longer together.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be. That relationship never should have happened.”
It was a full five years after Jack had left her utterly broken before she’d gotten romantically involved again. From Jeremy she learned that she didn’t have it in her to fully trust or love. She remained too guarded.
“Why shouldn’t it have happened, Terra?”
He wasn’t going to let it die, was he? “Because we were working together. We were a distraction to each other.” Terra briefly glanced at Jack to gauge his reaction.
Talking about Jeremy reminded her that she and Jack couldn’t have a thing going. Thinking about their past would help rein her in. But there was still ... something. It wasn’t interfering with this investigation, was it?
“And?”
“And I broke it off, and it got ugly to the point it was difficult to work together and remain professional. That didn’t go unnoticed.” Terra blew out a painful breath. “I was reprimanded, okay?”
“I’m sure Dr. Brand escaped unscathed.”
“He didn’t have anyone to answer to like I did. I ... I feel like I...”
“It’s okay, Terra. Believe it or not, I understand. You feel like you disappointed your mother. As long as I’ve known you, it’s always been about you trying to be as good as your mother. To be a hero.” He sucked in a small breath. “I’m sorry. I hope that doesn’t upset you.”
Relief washed over her. “No. I’m not exactly upset, but you got it wrong.” Should she reveal so much of herself to this man who had broken her heart so profoundly? He was different now. They both were. “I guess it’s no secret that a part of me would love to be a hero too. But Mom gave her life that day. She gave up everything—including me and Owen and Dad.” And a part of Terra resented her for it.
“And you’re not sure you can be so self-sacrificing.”
“Let’s just say that she wasn’t the only one to make a sacrifice.” Terra worked to steady her voice. After all, Mom had died years ago. But Terra hadn’t talked about this in so long. Not even with Alex and Erin—her closest friends.
“So, yes, I work hard so I won’t let myself down, and I can live up to her reputation that way. But as far as what I’m truly afraid of—” She swerved when another car cut her off passing her and laid on the horn. “You want me to pull that driver over?”
“No. I want to hear what you were going to say. We’re not in my county anyway.”
“Okay. Yeah. You’re right.”
“What are you afraid of, Terra?”
“Losing someone else.” In death ... or in love. Either way, she’d lost enough already. “I ... I hate the mountain where she died. Mom had gone up to save that guy from the plane crash, and the avalanche killed her instead. I blamed Stone Wolf Mountain for her death. I try to ignore the fact that Gramps named his ranch after it. Now, fast-forward fifteen years, and Jim died on that mountain too. Or at least his body was thrown off a cliff on the mountain. Ever since the day she died, I’ve had dreams about that mountain killing someone else.” Terra grimaced and swiped a hair out of her eyes. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to go off.”
Jack touched her arm, sending a gentle, comforting current through her. Jack said nothing, of course, because he couldn’t guarantee that no one else would die up there. All she had left now were Owen and Gramps, and she was so grateful Owen had returned to them alive. Now that she had a semblance of family again, she would work hard to keep them close together. She would move out of her apartment and stay with Gramps permanently. That was it then. She’d made the decision. And she would be more deliberate about keeping Alex and Erin close.
But talk of the mountain and Mom’s death ignited the pain again. And the memory of overhearing Gramps and Dad arguing that night, two weeks after Mom died.
