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“I suppose not.”
“Have you had any chocolate yet? It is divine.” She sipped her drink again, and my stomach flipped.
“I’m afraid I cannot eat anything until this is over.” I pressed a hand to my stomach, and she looked at me with compassion.
“A little bread might help you to stave off the nausea,” she said. “I cannot know firsthand, but my sister did nothing but nibble on rolls for the duration of her pregnancy.”
I looked at her sharply. Did she think I was with child? “I am only nauseous because large gatherings make me nervous.”
Marianne’s face paled, the color draining from her rosy cheeks. She lowered her cup to her lap and regarded me with wide eyes. “I’ve blundered.”
“Is that what everyone thinks? Who has told you this?”
She glanced around, and I did the same, wondering which of the women in this room believed the same of me as my friend had.
Marianne leaned closer. “I cannot recall who told me, but I did not realize it wasn’t true.”
“You did not think to ask me?”
She tilted her head to the side. “As though I could do such a thing.”
But it was undeniable that Marianne had spoken to me as though my being with child was common knowledge—as though my marriage was a rushed affair to hide our greater sins. What little warmth I had yet remaining had since seeped from my cheeks, and I was woozy from the implications of this revelation. I wanted to be out of this house at once—James and I only married to save our reputations, not to solidify them.
Rising from the sofa, I moved to leave when Marianne reached for my wrist and stopped me. “Please, forgive me. Truly, I did not know.”
I nodded to her and turned away, slipping from the sitting room and down the stairs. I heard someone call my name, but I could not be relied upon to socialize with my parents’ friends now that I knew what they thought of me. I slid quietly into my father’s study and shut the door, then leaned against it. Dropping my head in my hands, I did my best to temper my heavy breathing. A knock, though soft on the door, startled me.
If I pretended not to hear, would they go away?
A moment later another knock came.
“Felicity?”
It was difficult to tell through the thick oak door, but that sounded like James.
“Please, allow me in.”
I hurriedly wiped the moisture from my eyes and inhaled through my nose before turning to open the study door. I could not force James to remain in the corridor, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to see him just yet, either.
He stood in the entryway, lines between his eyebrows that spoke of his concern. “Are you—”
“Nothing has happened. I am merely overwhelmed by the splendor and magnitude of the day.”
“You realize that you cannot fool me, yes?” He stepped inside and closed the door behind him. “I did not ask if anything had happened, but you gave that away yourself.”
Drat. I moved over to the window and pushed the drapes aside to allow more light in. Shrubbery outside the window protected us from view, and I turned to lean against the frame. “It has come to my attention that we are to have a baby.”
My goal had not been to shock the man, but I had succeeded all the same. His eyes widened and he tucked his chin. He rested his other fist on his hip. “I do realize that is a natural part of marriage.”
“Yes, well, I only meant . . .” I cleared my throat. “It is believed that I am already with child.”
“Ah.” He nodded as understanding fell over his features. “Who told you this?”
“Marianne Hutton. She did not realize that it was untrue. Evidently in our attempt to save our good names, we have only confirmed the worst in everyone’s minds. Do you not realize how contradictory that is? I am now accepted in Society—applauded, even, for making such a splendid match—and yet I have only proven that the actions which previously made me a pariah did, in fact, come to pass.”
“It is unfair.”
“Exceedingly,” I said with feeling. I shook my head and looked to my father’s bookcase, noting the adventure novels I’d consumed time and again, and wishing I could be lost in one of them right now.
