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“James?” I could not wrap my mind around the scenario Benedict described. “This all happened at the Grenville ball?”
James had stalwartly risen to my defense while I had been hiding in the sitting room with Henry. I did not voice what we were both likely thinking.
“Yes, but you needn’t fear, young maiden. Your knight hath rescued your good name from the evil clutches of the sorceress.”
I looked up at him, confused.
“It is a metaphor,” Benedict explained. His brow drew together. “Do you not like to read?”
Laughter bubbled up from my chest, and I nodded. “I do, indeed. It was a lovely metaphor.”
“Thank you.” He gave an elaborate, foppish bow from his seated position beside me. “Now, do you mind telling me where my mother has gone? I expected to find her here with you.”
“You might not expect that any longer. I do think I’ve upset her.”
“She is quick to forgive.”
I eyed him from the side. “Even when someone dares to claim the title of mistress of Chelton?”
He sucked a quick breath through clenched teeth. “Perhaps it will take an extra day or so for her to regulate her feelings. Though it should not, I suppose. It is well within your rights to claim the title.”
“Within my rights, perhaps, but that does not make it easy when your mother has refused to willingly pass the responsibilities to me. She has not found me worthy yet,” I explained.
“Does she need to?”
I sat up, considering the question. “If I want her to approve of me or give me assistance while I learn what is expected of me, then yes.”
“But worth?” His eyes narrowed in thought. “That is not for my mother, or anyone else, to determine. That is something you find here.” He tapped the location of his heart with two of his fingers.
I felt his rapping as though a phantom leaned over and touched my heart as well, and it overwhelmed me with sudden longing. Tears welled in my eyes, and I blinked them away before any could fall. How did I see myself? How could I expect Lady Edith or James or anyone to believe me capable when I did not necessarily perceive that ability in myself?
My mama’s frustrations with my social failures had caused me to become excruciatingly aware of where I lacked. I feared it also created a standard for which I judged my value on. If I chose to see myself the way James looked at me, unadulterated and without motivation to change me, I did not believe I would find myself so lacking.
“Have I said too much?” he questioned.
“No, you said precisely the right thing.” I laughed awkwardly and dashed away a stray tear. “Your mother is in the drawing room with Mrs. Moulton.”
“Moulton?” he asked, sitting up. “From York?”
“The headmistress, yes. Lady Edith sent for the woman in order to question her fully. She is determined to locate Miss Northcott.”
Benedict ran a hand through his mussed curls. “As am I. I cannot wait to find the chit so I can wring her scrawny neck.”
I swallowed. “Perhaps do not say as much before your mother.”
He gave me an amused smile. “I will not. I do not truly mean it, you know.”
“Not entirely, perhaps?”
“No, not entirely. Thea has caused Mother a great deal of stress, and she will be forced to compensate us accordingly.”
“I cannot tell sometimes when you speak of Miss Northcott whether I will like her a great deal or despise her.”
“You will adore her,” he said sullenly. “Everyone does, heaven knows why.”
Benedict stood and offered me a hand. “Would you like to come with me? I should like to hear what Mrs. Moulton has to say.”
“No, but I thank you for the offer. I will continue to work on the plans for the ball.”
Benedict paused and looked at me appraisingly. “I would not take it personally that Mother has prioritized her hunt for the girl over the preparations for your ball. She has been the only parent Thea knows since both of her parents have died, and Thea is left with no other family to depend upon. Mrs. Northcott was Mother’s dearest friend, and I know she feels a deep sense of responsibility toward her daughter, even though there is no legal requirement for her actions.”
I was not offended by her choice. Indeed, I found the timing of Mrs. Moulton’s appearance to be fortuitous. Lady Edith’s actions—alongside the devotion shown to her by her sons—proved that she possessed a caring, loyal heart. I hoped someday to be a recipient of that great affection as well.
Benedict bowed before leaving the room. He was surprisingly wise, and I took his advice to heart. But it was all for naught when I remembered Mrs. Whitstone’s comment at the ball. It was made alarmingly clear to me that James had been so bothered following the event because the scandal had been mentioned. If it had reached Bakewell, which truly had only been a matter of time, then it was still being bandied about that we married swiftly because we had been intimate.
My resolve to prove that I was not with child had only grown.
