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“Is this about that cute girl of yours?”
I whip my head around to her. These talks with Kris are weird.
“Is there something you want to tell me?”
She laughs at that, throwing her head back. “I’m confident enough in my sexuality to acknowledge a beautiful girl.”
“Hey, no judgment here either way.”
She rolls her eyes, chuckling. It’s nice to have these laughs with her, too. It might feel weird, but I’m thankful to haveonegirl not give up on me.
“Seriously, though. What’s wrong? You fuck up again?”
I flinch at her bluntness. “Things get complicated with us very quickly. Things could be normal one second, and then fucked the next,” I bite out.
Kris’s eyebrows shoot up before she blows out a whistle. “Damn, dude. That sucks. What happened this time?”
I tell her about the asshat known as Nick Swanson and how he somehow brainwashed Leia into thinking I only used her for sex. Rehashing what happened is really a blow to the stomach. I really can’t win with Leia, and that fucking hurts. We’re at the point where no matter how much we try to work things out, it always turns out for the worst.
“Wow,” is the only response I get back.
I give her a blank stare, waiting for more to come. And it doesn’t. “That’s it?”
“Well...didyou only want her for sex?”
I flinch at that. “Kris, that’s a fucking stupid question,” I deadpan.
This only makes her laugh. “I know, dude. I’m kidding.”
For the love of… “Are you looking to have an honest discussion or...?”
“I’m not looking for anything,” she jokes. “I just wanted to know why you look like you lost your toy on Christmas Day.”
“Whatever, Kris,” I say, annoyed. I stand up to go upstairs. This conversation isn’t going anywhere.
“Wait, wait,” she stops me. Sighing, I turn back to her. “We graduate in three days, dude. You may never see her again. Are you alright with that possibility?”
My stomach drops at the thought of that.
Can I live with never seeing her again?
I’m not sure of the answer to that. I can’t even stomach the fact she thinks I only wanted her for a smash-and-dash. But what the fuck can I do?
“Of course, I can’t live with that,” I growl. “But there’s nothing I can do about it.” I’m hoping for advice. Reassurance, even. But it simply doesn’t come.
“Yeah, you may be right,” she blurts thoughtlessly.There goes that. “Look, if it’ll make you feel better, how about dinner to celebrate graduating?”
“We don’t even know if we’re walking across the stage until tomorrow, Kris,” I deadpan.
“Come on, dude. Have some faith. My treat,” she tries to convince me.
I’m open to any distraction, to be honest. Draft Day is in a few weeks, and I’m worried about that.
I’m worried about graduating.
I’m worried about never seeing my girl again.
I’m not in any spirit right now. Maybe dinner can fix that. Sighing, I give her a reassuring smile, and I earn one back.
