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“Don’t defend him, Kyle!” I don’t think I’ve ever heard Tom call him Kyle before. I’d normally laugh but Tom’s not laughing now. “Just because you and Cassy are together that doesn’t mean he gets to keep these kinds of fucking secrets!”
“Relax, Tommo! I’m sure it’s not even a big deal. Right, Max?” Emma asks as Cassy clears her throat. My eyes travel the room to my sister.
“I think Tom’s already called it,” my sister says. Her voice quiet but clear. “Tom called it a solo trip and that’s exactly what it was.”
The word sounds like poison on her lips.
“No, I don’t think—” Ali starts to defend me, but then my pleading eyes find her, and she falls silent.
“Wait, Max. You want to go solo?” Bobby asks, the question in his tone scaring me as all the numbness in my body threatens to take over. I shut my eyes and nod. My body begging for a reaction from the room, but I’m met with silence and as I open my eyes to open mouths.
It wasn’t supposed to come out like this. Because it’s not what I want, but what I need to do for my family. For me and Ali. Preston said— Fuck I don’t know what he said but it made sense. The reason it has to be like this.
“Fuck this. Fuck this shit!” Tom shouts as he stands up. “And fuck you, Baines. We’re a team, a fucking family. Fuck you!”
“Westy, mate listen I—”
“Save it, Max. Go tell Preston Miller or someone who gives a fucking damn because I sure as hell don’t. You’ve crossed a fucking line,” Tom shouts as he stands up from his place on the floor. Pocketing his phone with a face like thunder, a scowl I’ve never seen.
“Tommy, it’s not like that. It wasn’t. It isn’t going to be like that,” I try to explain.
“What’s it going to be like then, Max? You swanning off around the world performing. With a new band? Or just on your own? Fast and fucking foolish. What are you going to do? Sing our songs? The ones that we all wrote? The ones that Finch created and stupidly let us all have credit for? What? You and Preston going to sit together smoking a joint coming up with the best and greatest hits of the world?” Tom spits.
“I— It’s not about me. it’s not about fucking Preston,” I try and assure my friends.
“Who is it about then?” Bobby asks, his voice a lot quieter than Tom’s but I can tell the angers there. My hands are shaking, my whole body struggling as my eyes leave Bobby’s and look across the room to Ali. Her long hair is out of its normal bun and falling down her face. Her eyes full of tears of guilt and pain and this long look that I’m not sure I ever want to see. My skin has goose bumps.
“For her?” Tom questions and I nod.
“No, Max, you don’t get to put this on me. I knew you were damaged. I knew you weren’t fully healed, and I still got into your bed. You can’t blame me for this bold solo move,” she says loudly, her eyes not leaving mine.
“You didn’t know then?” Bobby questions Ali and she shakes her head.
“No. No, I fucking didn’t. I guess I knew it would come up, it’s the obvious move the label would try and make. I didn’t realise it happened so quickly and he’d agreed so easily.” Her voice is higher than normal. Angry.
I should have told her. I should have told them all. But life is so much better. I’ve got her back. I thought I had the boys back.
“I had to do right by my family. For Ali, for the baby,” I mumble.
“What about us? What about our families, Max?” Bobby asks, and I shut my eyes.
“I thought we were a family!” Tom shouts.
“Boys! Boys!” Finch’s voice is louder than us all as he tried to hold court.
“Boys, this is on us. Not him.”
“How do you figure that one?” Tom spits.
“We were hardly supportive. We’ve all had our own lives to live recently,” he weaves an arm around Cassy’s shoulder, and she nestles into his neck as he leans and puts his cup on the floor. “We’ve had priorities which were not the band. We had priorities that were not Max. We barely gave him a chance to make any other choice. After his accident he needed to prove to the world he was good. He was okay and if this solo track is the only way he thought he could do it… that’s on us that we weren’t good enough friends to support him and let him know there were other options.”
Cassy whispers‘I love you’ into the side of his neck and he leans down and leaves a kiss on her forehead.
“You know what? Fuck you as well, Finch! You’ve always hero worshipped him for no fucking reason. But this is a line, a fucking line that you wouldn’t even agree with him crossing if you weren’t shagging his sister.”
“Tom!” Bobby snaps but I don’t think I’ve ever seen Finch move as quick as he just did. In two large strides he’s crossed the living room and is now nose to nose with Tom.
“Say that a- fucking gain,” he sneers. He’s easily a foot taller than Tom but he’s so close, so in his face you barely notice.
