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“Whatever it is she wants, she won’t get it from us.” Cassy smiles up at me as she tucks a lock of chestnut-brown hair behind her ear. I lean and kiss her on the cheek as I pick up the tray and carry it back to the living room. To our friends. Glad I’ve been able to talk to my sister.
Tom’s holding court in the room.
“And that is yet another reason, Alison. That you leaving our team was the worst fucking decision you’ve ever made,” he teases Ali as she runs a hand over her belly.
“Well, I think if I come back now it might be seen as a conflict of interest.”
“Just lie, baby. Lie and tell them it’s mine. Not as much flack if it’s not the front man’s but double the street cred for you for banging the best-looking member of Blank Space.”
“Watch it, Westy, Max looks like he might chuck that coffee straight over your massive head.” Emma giggles as I scowl at him. Cassy is taking the drinks off the tray and passing them around.
“But in all seriousness. What sort of manager is Titch, anyway?” Tom asks the room and is met by nods and tuts of agreement. “I mean when was the last time any of us actually saw or heard from him?” he asks. I swallow hard as I scan the room.
“Did he not go to New York with you?”
I close my eyes.
“New York?” Bobby questions.
“Or was that just Preston Miller? I know I still work for Grain Records but I’m so out of the Blank Space loop I don’t even know,” Ali says innocently as she hugs the mug she just took from Cassy and looks up at me. A smile covering her cheeks.
“Alison, what are you talking about? I think they call that baby brain, don’t they?” Bobby laughs.
“Bobby, I might be pregnant but I’m not stupid and if Mr Baines here got up to his normal tour shenanigans, then I’m hardly going to judge him. We weren’t even a thing. He didn’t know about the baby then.” She smiles up at me. I close my eyes again, still not taking my seat back on the couch next to her.
“Al, you must have us confused with another group of stupidly good looking and talented musicians as none of us have been to New York. Not since the tour,” Finch corrects her, his drink in his hand, his other resting on my sister’s thigh as she snuggles back on the sofa next to him.
“In all fairness, I doubt they’d let Max back in.” Tom laughs as Emma throws a scatter cushion from the couch at him and gives a soft smile my way in a weird supportive way. But I can feel my throat restricting as guilt takes over. It gets into my bones, under my skin.
“Stop it!” Ali says. “I know you went. Max was on his way back from New York when we saw each other again. You’d been with Preston! He had his carry-on in his hand, so as much as you’ve all enjoyed winding me up for the past nearly ten years you really don’t need to this time.”
I stay where I am. Glued to the spot. Unable to move. I close my eyes again. Hoping that I might wake up in a minute. When that’s a bust I just wait for the ground to swallow me up whole. Because when I open my eyes, something in the room is different. It’s colder. And six sets of eyes are glued to me, mouths open. Questions about to spill out.
“You went to New York?”
It’s Finch.
I nod.
“With Preston Miller?”
It’s Bobby.
I nod.
“Wait. You guys didn’t go? I just thought— sorry. I just presumed you’d have all gone together.”
“Yes, Alison. You would presume we would have all gone together, wouldn’t you? You know because we’re a band. Because we’re brothers. Well, I thought we were.”
Tom announces but his piss-taking tone has gone. He’s all serious now.
“So, what was it, Max? Why did you take a solo trip to New York to meet with the greasy spineless soul that is Mr Miller? The exec who works closest with the owner ofourlabel?”
I clear my throat, but I don’t speak. I’m mute.
“Guys, leave it. We were hardly all going to jet off together? It’s taken a lot of healing for us to be all be in the room together tonight and regardless of why he went. He’s here now. Right, Bainesy?”
I turn to Finch, give him what I hope is a welcoming smile for his defence. But Tom’s clearly anything but sated.
