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I shook my head.“They turn into wolves.The whole turning-into-monsters development is new, I’ll be honest.I was just as surprised as you.”
“You didn’t act surprised.You were so calm.I could hardly think.There was nothing in my head but ‘what the fuck’ over and over again.”
“Mom!I didn’t think you even knew that word,” I laughed.“You handled yourself.Thank god for those garden shears.”
“I told you they’d come in handy,” she said.Her smile wobbled as tears filled her eyes.“I’ve never been so scared, Edie.”
“Me either.”I scooted across the bench so I could lay my arm over her shoulders.
“They saved us.The wolves.”
“They did.”
“I feel like a fool.”
“Don’t.They’ve hid it for generations.”
“Not because of that.”She dug in her purse for a tissue.“Because of your father.He was right all along.I said terrible things about him.Ithoughteven worse.If I had believed him…”
“Mom,” I said, leaning in.“If you had believed him, if you had stayed with him, he would have dragged us both down with him.His house—there was nothing in his house but his obsession.He filled his life with his research and his theories, and there was no room for anything else.”
“He was determined to prove it.Sometimes I think that if I had believed him, he wouldn’t have felt compelled to convince the world.”
“That’s just the thing, Mom.I don’t think he wanted to prove it.Honestly, he probably could have done it years ago.He had photographs, dossiers, full family trees.He could have done exactly what I did—come out here and try to find out for himself.But he never did.I don’t think he wanted to prove it, because then he would have had to stop trying.”
She wiped at her eyes.“I’ve been apart from him way longer than I was with him.I’ve been over him a long time, but I never let myself trust another man again.How could I?I’d planned this whole life with him, and he flipped it on its head.I was so mad,” she said confessionally.“I don’t think I could feel sympathy for him because I was so mad.It was one thing when it was just me he ignored, but it killed me to see that he couldn’t care about you as much as he cared about shifters.”
“Do you know he had a room for me?”I’d only seen it once, but in my mind as clear as day.“One room where he kept everything about me.And he kept the door closed.”
“I’m sorry you were never able to visit.”
“Yeah, there was that trip that got cancelled because of the snowstorm.”I gave her a sidelong look.“The snowstorm that you made up to cover for Dad bailing at the last minute.”
My mother didn’t lie often enough to be good at it.“No, there was a big storm.Remember, I showed you pictures in the paper.”
“Yeah, you went to the library and made copies of an old article from microfiche, and then you taped it into the paper and told me it was how the newspaper made last-minute changes to an edition.”
She pressed her lips together, trying not to laugh.“Oh, was that not convincing?”
“I was eight, Mom.I wasn’t an idiot.”The memory made me grin until I remembered how painful it had been.“I thought about why you would do that.Why you would go to such lengths to pretend a natural disaster prevented the trip.Then I heard you talking to the neighbor about how Dad had cancelled at the last minute and now you were scrambling for childcare.And I realized you were trying to protect me from the disappointment.”
“It broke your heart,” she said, now comforting me.“You were so excited to visit your father and ride a horse and see mountains.”
“And later, when you would book up my summer with camps and activities and whatever else, you were making sure I didn’t have time to go see him.So I wouldn’t get disappointed again.”
She hesitated.“It happened twice more.I hadn’t even told you yet because I didn’t want you to get excited.But after he cancelled the last time, I thought, no more.”
I nodded.The pain was deep, but dull.“He didn’t know how to love me.”
My mother’s face crumpled.“No, I don’t think he did.”
“But that doesn’t mean he didn’t care.And he gave me this,” I said, gesturing at the town.“This whole new world that is far more magical than I ever let myself believe.”
“Edie,” she said, using the nickname that she typically avoided.“Are you coming home?”
I moved my shoulders uncomfortably.“I don’t know that Baltimore was ever home.It was just a place, like all the places before.It’s like you said earlier—just a pin on a map.The part that matters is being with the people you love.”
“And you’re in love with Jasper.”
