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Davis
Ilock down my emotions, somehow managing not to spew out the string of curses that fill my mouth. It’s an acid that burns down my throat, begging for me to release them all over the piece of shit in front of me. I clutch Miri tighter to my side, and even though I can tell she’s confused as hell, she doesn’t pull away. There are small miracles.
“I didn’t think you came into town. Out of booze?” Fuck, I can’t help myself. Didn’t I just promise myself I wasn’t going to engage and what’s the first thing that happens? I antagonize the bastard. I’m not afraid of his fists anymore, but I’d prefer to stay the hell away from him.
Instead of waiting for his answer, I move to step around him, pulling Miri with me, but my father blocks us. Short of throwing a punch and knocking him out, I’m not sure how we’ll get out of this without a scene.
His smile is sharp even though his gaze is bleary. It’s his permanent state. I don’t know if he drinks to tame the demons or if drinking brought them to the surface. I spent years trying to figure out if my father was always twisted or if the damn Axis rotted him from the inside out.
James Radford, the man I loath to call dad, darts his bloodshot eyes at Miri, then to me. Once upon a time he was a good-looking guy and even now he’s far better looking than he should be for how pickled his insides are. There are subtle signs that tell of his alcohol abuse, the spidery veins across his cheeks, the slightly puffy, too tight skin of his face. Those are just exterior evidence of how much he’s abused his body over the years. It has nothing to do with the rest of the decay that resides in him.
“Son. Don’t be rude.” His words are slick, not slurred at all, which tells me he’s only had enough to drink to stave off his hangover. Although, he’s perpetually drunk, so hangover is a misnomer. “Who’s your pretty little friend?”
Miri stiffens beside me, but her arm slides around my waist, her hand fisting in the back of my sweater. I left my coat inside the library and it’s probably too cold to be going outside without it, but I can barely feel a thing except for Miri.
“Not your business.” I growl and James grins at me with sick glee.
“Doesn’t matter. I know who this is. Little Miri Wilds, come home to roost. How are things up in that big old house all by your lonesome? Dangerous for a girl to be there all alone.” He leers down at her and I clench my fist, willing myself to stay calm instead of punching his face for even breathing the same air as her.
“Not really little, and the house is great. Nice and secure and well maintained over all these years.”
James barks out a sour laugh. “Oh, you’re just as uppity as Evelyn. Your mom was a snobby bitch too.”
I jerk forward, but Miri pulls me back with that small hand tangled in my sweater, stepping in front of me and giving her back to James. I snarl at him, instantly turning us to the side so I can still see him, but she’s not exposing herself. Miri’s face is flushed. Her nostrils flare as she inhales and then blows out a white stream of breath.
“Looks like the two of you are getting on well enough. I bet dear old dad loves that.” James throws his head back and laughs loudly, attracting the attention of people passing by on the street. He’s lost his fucking mind.
“Go home and drown yourself in your drink.” I snap as I step around him, Miri still tucked into my side. This time he doesn’t bother blocking me. He knows if it comes to physical strength, he doesn’t stand a chance against me anymore.
“Have fun, son. It’s a real pleasure, Miri. Just remember the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” James chuckles and it’s a fucking miracle I don’t smash his face in.
I don’t think I breathe until we’re well out of sight of the liquor store James walked into. Miri’s quiet beside me, her hand still curled into my sweater.
“I’ll walk you home.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I need to make sure you get home safe.”
There’s another lengthy pause as we walk back to her house. After a few minutes, she untangles her hand and steps out from my arms slung over her shoulders. I want to pull her back, bring her up against me again, but I let her keep the distance. Seeing her and my dad in the same space was jarring. I don’t think I ever expected they would meet, or maybe I just hoped he’d stay cooped up in his house until he died choking on his own vomit someday. I’m honestly surprised it hasn’t happened yet.
Something cracks open inside my chest as I think about the brief encounter, about Anthony, and all of this Axis shit happening. All I want is to keep Miri safe, and for the longest time I thought that meant keeping my distance from her. From the first moment I laid eyes on her all those years ago, all I could think about was keeping her from the tainted blood of my life, but if she’s not here, then I can’t protect her. Who was there for her mom when she died? She spent her entire life running away from her past and it ended up catching up to her eventually.
Is that what I want for Miri? For her to spend the rest of her life hiding, running from one place to the next, running from an unknown threat that haunts her like a specter?
We’re at Wilds Cottage before I even have a chance to gather my thoughts. My head is too fucked up right now to know what I’m thinking or feeling. I want to blurt it all out to Miri, but I don’t even know what to say. She doesn’t stop until she already has the door open. Her eyes search my face, brow furrowed in confusion as she looks at me from the open door.
“Thanks for walking me home.” She hesitates for a second, biting her lip before she seems to decide something. “You’re not like him, Davis. Don’t buy into his shit.”
We watch one another, stuck in this fucked up in between of not knowing what to do. Do I go to her? Should I do the right thing and leave her alone? Keep her away from my messed-up family and the demons of my past?
I want to tell her she’s wrong about me, that I am ruined, just like my dad. Or that her words mean something to me. They bring me hope that maybe I won’t turn into a monster like my father. I can’t. The words stick in my throat. If I speak of my greatest fear out loud then it’s like it has permission to be more real. So, I don’t say anything.
With a nod, I turn and walk away.
