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13
Lena
Even though Archer and I came to an agreement the other day in my office, nothing has happened since. All my thoughts and emotions are a conflicting swirl inside me. It’s better this way because we’re friends, and he’s my brother’s best friend. We should just forget about our transgressions so far. Except those exploits have been fueling my fantasies every night since they happened.
Who am I kidding? I want Archer. I’ve always wanted him. Deep down, I know the real reason I’m hoping we don’t pick things back up is because I’m afraid of getting hurt. Like, heart torn out of my chest, hurt. It already aches when I check my phone to see he hasn’t messaged. Or when he picks me up for work and neither of us says a thing about the agreement we made in the heat of the moment.
The truth is, I don’t think I can do something casual. What if that’s all it really is to Archer? Just a way to get off. And then he meets some woman who’s more interesting than me and he wants to go back to just being friends. It doesn’t matter that I was the one to suggest this arrangement. I was a fool trying to pretend I’m cooler than I am. I'm crushed that he hasn’t texted, so I might actually die if I see him with someone else.
Or puke.
Which is why this is a very bad idea.
I didn’t see Archer at all yesterday. Miri met me before work to catch up and Rhys walked me home. I’m confused as hell about what I want. What Archer wants. I doubt either of us thinks this smart, but none of that matters when he’s close.
I groan, loudly, pushing up my glasses to rub my eyes. I have the day off and I’m going to hibernate in my apartment. All I want is to hide away from the world, specifically Archer. Which is a contradiction my mind and body can’t reconcile. I’m desperate to see him and want to avoid him at the same time. Granted, it’s not like he’s messaging me to hang out or anything. Nope. I am not going down that pitiful path again. The phone works both ways. I could just as easily text him if I had the balls, but I don’t. I am an absolute chicken.
After a long shower, I pour a huge cup of coffee and eat several cookies for breakfast, because who the hell is going to stop me? I pick up the piece of paper I found in the clearing the day I ran into my dad. I settle into my Papasan chair, which is my favorite place to read and study the paper. It’s thick and sturdy in my hands, nothing like the stock that books are printed on these days. If I had to guess, it’s handmade.
I turn it in the light, angling it back and forth as if that’s going to miraculously uncover what’s written there. I’ve already done this a dozen times, so I have no idea why I keep trying. The words scrawled over the page are written in a language I don’t understand. I don’t even recognize the alphabet that’s being used, and that frustrates me to no end. I don’t like being denied knowledge of any kind.
With a sigh of resignation, I set it aside and pick up the old journal that’s been languishing on my end table for the last month. It’s one of Miri’s mom’s diaries. We found an entire collection at the Wild Cottage library and have been slowly working through them. The hope is to find any information about the Axis our parents formed all those years ago. I’ve already read two of them, swapping each out for a new one as soon as I finished. Just like I’ve avoided looking for more information on my life and death magic, I’ve been avoiding picking this journal back up. I don’t know why, just an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach.
This is one of the more recent diaries. It’s closer to the time when Evelyn left the island, and everything apparently went to complete shit with the Axis that they formed. It’s crazy because I’ve always craved answers, needing to know about the past and why our parents and the others in the Axis made the decisions that they did. Now that the opportunity to find out more is literally sitting in my lap, I’m having a hard time following through. As much as I want to find out what secrets they’ve been hiding over the years, there’s also a peace in the ignorance. Not that I know for sure there are any answers in these pages.
Curled up in my chair, and snuggled under a blanket, because I still can’t find my favorite sweatshirt, I crack open the book. Evelyn is older in this diary. Flipping through the pages and making note of the dates, I sit up a little straighter, because I think this might be closer to when they formed the Axis.
I’m halfway through the journal when I reach the entry where Evelyn meets Anthony. My heart skitters to a stop in my chest, and then redoubles its efforts, pounding furiously against my rib cage. Without thinking, I grab my phone and send out a group text to Miri, Ruby, Rhys, Ezra, and Archer.
Me: I found the journal where Evelyn meets Anthony. Will keep everyone posted.
My phone pings with a few messages, but I ignore them as I get lost in the journal once again. It’s like watching a horror movie. The one where a woman walks down into a dark basement by herself, without a weapon, and calls out a hello into the abyss. Unfortunately, I already know how it all ends, and there’s no happily ever after.
My hands grip the leather-bound book so hard I have to pry my fingers away and shake them out. I force myself to relax, but that lasts all of two seconds when I start reading.
We’ve got a transplant that just moved to the island. He’s my age, or a little older. Isbeth was giving him a tour of the town and brought him by the cottage.
Isbeth, shit, that’s Archer’s mother. I trail my finger over the page, a shiver of dread making me bite my lip.
She looked like she wanted to drop her panties right there and offer them up like an invitation. It’s funny because the guy, Anthony, looked about as frigid as Isbeth usually is. The two of them can have each other and then freeze ice on each other's cold ass personalities. Poor Reginald. I wonder if he knows his wife is looking at the new guy like she wants to eat him up. Sure, he’s attractive, but there’s something about him that isn’t right.
I look up from the pages with a frown, wincing when I take a sip of my now cold coffee. Obviously, it wasn’t love at first sight between Miri’s parents. I flip to the next page, and then the next, reading about how Evelyn found Anthony irritating, smug, pompous. He won’t leave her alone. He shows up at her house, at social events, at the office where she worked. A few entries later, everything changes.
I am an idiot. I have no idea what I was thinking. Okay, fine, I was drunk, that’s what happened. Anthony can be charming when he wants to be, and damn, he’s persistent. It was Halloween; Holly and Lily ditched their husbands for the night and we drank way too much. This is why I’m never drinking again, because the booze totally made me forget what an asshole Anthony is. All I could focus on was how hot he is. Is it possible to explode from embarrassment? Could something good come of this? Now that he’s gotten what he wants, he can stop stalking me all over town.
My face scrunches up as I read between the lines. I’ll have to warn Miri not to read this part, because I’m pretty sure her mom and Anthony just hooked up. Ew. There are several more pages of random thoughts and notes about the island, and time she spent with her friends. Every time she mentions Holly, my stomach sinks. That’s my mom. What was she like back then? Was she a good person? Did she only become the kind of person who abandons their children after Evelyn left the island?
Today I found Holly crying in a booth at the back of Puck’s Diner. The twins were asleep in the stroller, but poor Holly looked so damn tired. Scott doesn’t do a damn thing to help with those babies, and I’m almost certain he hits her. She swears everything is incredible, but all she ever does is take care of the twins and look after Scott like she’s his freaking servant. She's exhausted, but insists that everything is fine. I don’t think it is. Scott is obsessed with all the stories Anthony keeps feeding us. It’s scary to see how obsessive he and James have become.
Holly told me the other day that Anthony swore Wild Haven has a doorway to Fairy. Can you imagine? Scott and James eat it up like starving teenagers. Isbeth is the worst of them all, though. Let’s be honest, she’s always been a bitch, but since Anthony’s come to town, she’s gone off the deep end. She wants more of everything. Money, stature, power, and she thinks Anthony is the key to it all.
I pause and inhale sharply, not even aware that I was holding the air in my chest. So many familiar names appear on this page. Evelyn figured out that my dad was hitting my mom. Or at least she suspected it. My dad, James, and Isbeth all bought into Anthony’s sales pitch with a rabidness that doesn’t surprise me. I read on, urged on by a tender pain around my heart.
Anthony Hatcher might be the most handsome, incredible man I’ve ever met. Besides being smart, he’s got big plans for our future. He said I’m an important part of those plans. He’s gathered this incredible group of us together and told us how special we are. We are going to change things. Not just on Wild Haven, but for our entire world.
I flip back to the previous page in confusion. Did I miss an entry? Are the pages stuck together? This latest entry reads like a fan letter, and is nauseating. The writing is slightly different here as well. The looping handwriting from earlier is more slanted, sloppier, and harder to read. Almost like she was drunk when putting pen to paper. Maybe she was.
Evelyn’s sudden one eighty certainly makes me think she wasn’t in her right mind. There’s no indication of what happened to change her opinion of Anthony. No story depicting that he came in and swept her off her feet with a gesture that wowed her into thinking he wasn’t a jackass anymore. So why did she change her mind about him?
