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Lena dips her head, but angles it so she can stare at me. Her face is placid, but her eyes are a riot of emotions. I can’t read them. She’s too good at masking all the things she’s feeling. I tug her closer to my side. She teeters on her heels, needing to lean into me or fall over. Her hands press into my chest, and she pushes me back with a shake of her head.
“I found something in Evelyn’s journal about my mom.”
That gets my head out of the damn gutter, real damn fast. I knew she’d been reading through all of the diaries they’d found in the library at Wild Cottage. She mentioned there was something about the Axis in there, but she never followed up.
“What was it?” I try to keep my voice sunny. No need for us to both be maudlin. Still, it takes all my effort not to yank her back into my arms. I can sense her pain even as she tries to conceal it.
“Evelyn mentioned that she was worried about my mom. That she suspected my dad had been hitting her. When she went to our house to check on my mom, my dad told her she’d left the island. But Evelyn was scared he’d done something to her.”
I don’t know how to respond, so I keep my mouth shut, giving her time to get it all out.
“What if my dad did something to her?”
Fucking hell. What am I supposed to say to that? Do I think Scott Marsten is capable of murder? Fuck yes, I do. Do I say that out loud? What would be the point? It’s been decades. Even if Scott did something to Lena’s mother, I doubt we’ll ever know for sure.
“What if we were wrong all these years?” Lena goes on, unaware of my mental spiral.
“What do you mean?”
“What if it wasn’t the Axis that made them horrible people? If that’s not what tainted them. We’ve always believed that messing around with magic they shouldn’t have touched did something to them. What if they were just evil from the get-go? What if my father is a murdering bastard because that’s who he is? Maybe he wanted to be part of the Axis because there was something wrong with him to start with.”
Lena looks lost. We’ve stopped in the dimly lit hallway; Colton having wandered into a room a few feet away. I turn to face Lena, resting my hands on her hips. My eyes travel over her face, landing on the full pout of her perfect lips. I haven’t kissed her, tasted her, claimed her mouth yet. Whatever we’ve been doing has been casual, friends scratching an itch. A kiss could demolish all those thin glass walls we’ve erected between the two sides of our relationship. Friendship and the other. Kissing Lena could change everything. It has the power to devastate me.
I pull my head out of my ass and squeeze her hips. Lena sighs and relaxes against me as if she’s feeling the relief of our touch as well. Or like the weight of what she found out has been too heavy to carry around on her own. Sharing it with someone else has taken some of that burden off her shoulders.
“I don’t know if we’ll ever really know. It’s not like anyone who was part of that original Axis is going to give us any straight answers.”
“I hate not having answers.”
“I know, me too.”
“Oh, I’m aware of how much you love to dig up dirt on people.” The first hint of a smile lifts the corner of Lena’s mouth.
“Hey, I haven’t gossiped in forever,” I defend myself, happy to get away from the dark conversation. We’ll need to talk about it again, but right now is not the time.
“You told me last week that Meredith Tempa’s granddaughter is sleeping with her boss.”
“Hello, he’s married.”
“We don’t know either one of them.”
I start laughing, because she’s right. Something loosens in my chest when she joins in. She relaxes, looking tired even though a small weight seems to have lifted from her shoulders.
“Have you been sleeping?”
The corner of her eye tics as she levels me with a stare. “Is that a jab about the bags under my eyes?”
“I didn’t say you weren’t beautiful, just that you look like you haven’t been getting a good night’s rest.”
Lena’s mouth opens, and she blinks at me a few times before answering. “I haven’t been sleeping well. Too many thoughts jumbling around in my head.”
“I get it.”
“You too?”
“Naw, I sleep like an innocent babe.” Lies. So many lies. I sleep like shit most nights.
Lena snorts. “Sure.”
