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ZARA
“Ihave to get drunk for this.” Ruby drops a bottle of vodka on her scarred kitchen table and then retrieves two glasses from the cupboard. “I’d like to tell you I’m a badass and can chug this stuff straight, but I’m actually a wimp with booze. I have to mix it with something fruity.” She follows that statement up with a trip to the refrigerator and brings back some fruit juice with her.
I keep my mouth shut and watch as she mixes drinks. I’m not sure what she’s talking about because there’s as much alcohol as there is juice in these drinks. After we left Rhys’s bar, Ruby was uncharacteristically quiet. At least, in my short time knowing her, that doesn’t seem to be normal.
“Why exactly are we getting drunk?” I look Ruby in her green eyes. It’s one of the few things about us that is different. In general, I have a difficult time looking people in the eye. I’m sure it has to do with years of servitude, of being slapped anytime I accidentally made eye contact. With Ruby, it’s not an issue. Strangely enough, it’s not a problem I have with Rhys either. Maybe the first time we spoke, but ever since, I don’t feel that need to look away, to keep my eyes averted. In fact, I want to see his reactions when we talk.
“I’m going to take you up to see Birdie, but you need to know some stuff first.”
“And Birdie is your grandmother?” I take a sip of my drink and my mouth puckers at the taste. Ruby tips her glass back and drinks half of it in one guzzle. The elephant in the room is that I might be related to her as well. There has to be some link between me and Ruby based on how much we look alike.
“My mom’s mom, yeah.”
“Okay.” I frown into my drink, trying to block off my sense of smell as I take another gulp. Before Davis’s revelation, Ruby hadn’t mentioned any family to me. Not that she’s obligated to, but I’m curious. How couldn’t I be? We look like we could be twins. We have to be related in some way. I know Ruby feels the same. It’s why she’s letting me stay here in the first place. “Do you not get along?”
“What? No. Birdie’s awesome. You’ll love her.” She says this part so flippantly that I don’t know how to react.
There’s a crater, deep in the center of my chest, that was carved out years ago. Growing up alone, unloved, unwanted, I wondered a million times where I came from. Who my family was? Did they give me up on purpose? Was it a trick? Was I stolen out of my crib in the middle of the night?
Depending on the day and my mood, the picture I’d paint in my head would slant wildly from sympathy for my parents who obviously lost their child, to hatred of those same parents because they must have traded me for some promise from the Fae. But the truth wasn’t ever something I had the luxury of knowing. Hearing that there is someone out there who might be my grandmother, it’s too tempting to ignore.
“Why do we need to get drunk, then?” I’m still confused about what’s going on, but I take another drink as Ruby finishes hers off and starts pouring a refill.
“Okay. So. My dad left when I was a baby. Like, really young. So young I don’t remember a thing about him. My mom said that he’d moved to Wild Haven thinking he was going to get an experience out of it. That he liked the idea of a sleepy island town. Except, he really didn’t like it all that much once he was here for a while. She called him a wandering soul, which is bullshit for irresponsible fuck, if you ask me. He said he couldn’t be tied down and took off. That was the last she heard from him. I’ve never met him. I looked him up online a few years ago. He has a wife half his age and a car dealership out in California. He’s a tool.”
Ruby stops to take a breath and have another drink. A drip of condensation rolls down the side of her glass and she wipes it away, like she’s flicking away a teardrop.
“Birdie’s my mom’s mom. She’s had a pretty shitty time of things as well, but you’d never know it by how she acts. She’s loving and wonderful. Everything my mom wasn’t. I don’t ever remember her being a good mom. She loved her pills and would occasionally mix it with some booze. She rarely left the house and if she did, she’d go into a panic and all but collapse and have to crawl back inside.”
I gnaw on my lip, holding my tongue. Ruby doesn’t need any words from me. She needs to finish her story.
“She died when I was barely a teenager. An overdose. Honestly, it was probably a blessing. She wasn’t living any kind of life.” Ruby finishes her second drink but just stares at the glass. She doesn’t fill it up with another.
“Davis is my cousin. The grumpy ass who Rhys kept accusing of yelling. He wasn’t, by the way, that’s just his normal speaking voice. His mom died when he was young, too. Birdie lost two of her daughters, but she still found it in her to look after both me and Davis. As best she could.”
Ruby pushes back from the table, wobbling a little as she stands up. “I’m going to go lay down for a bit. I have to work in the morning tomorrow, but we can go see Birdie after that.”
“Okay,” I murmur as Ruby makes her way out of the kitchen. “Ruby,” I call out, wanting to say something, even though I know nothing will erase the pain in her past. “I’m sorry.”
Ruby just offers me a wan smile and then heads off to her bedroom.
* * *
The morning dragged by while I waited for Ruby to get home. She’s a waitress at a place called Puck’s Diner and was working the morning and lunch shift. Now that she’s home and we’re headed up to Birdie’s house, all I want is for time to slow down.
I rub my palms on my borrowed pants, a pair of purple plaid ones today, with little zippers across the thighs. Ruby’s driving us out to Birdie’s house in her cart of death, and I’m proud to say I’m only a little queasy. I think I might be getting the hang of riding in these things. I twist my hair around my fist to keep it from blowing all over the place, trying to settle my nerves.
What I’m not prepared for is to meet Birdie. I don’t know why. There are no expectations from anyone. Ruby filled Birdie in on the background of what happened, so it’s not like I’m going to be unveiled with a shout of “surprise”. I still can’t help the knot of anxiety that’s churning in my stomach. This time it’s not my intuition telling me bad things are about to happen. Nothing is setting off alarms. I don’t know why I feel so unstable.
Ruby pulls her little cart up in front of a beautiful home. There are three stories with a wide porch that wraps all the way around the house. The lawn is well tended and a verdant green that makes me want to run through it barefoot. The grass ends on a bluff that overlooks the ocean. It’s an incredible place and has a decidedly welcoming feel.
Axil jumps out the back of the cart and barks once, as though he’s announcing our arrival. He’s basically Ruby’s sidekick, and comes with her places whenever she can manage it.
The door of the house swings opens before Ruby and I have a chance to get out of her cart. An older woman walks outside with her hands clenched against her heart. She has shoulder length silver hair and is dressed in comfortable looking cream pants with a wide leg and a forest green sweater.
I trail behind Ruby, feeling even more out of my element than I normally do, as she walks up to Birdie and gives her a hug. The woman is shorter than Ruby by a few inches, but her presence is just as big. She says hello to Axil and hands him a treat. This is a familiar activity for them both.
“Introduce us.” Birdie squeezes Ruby’s shoulders and then steps to the side so she can see me. Her face crumbles, and a sob gets choked in her throat. My eyes fill up with sympathetic tears, even though I don’t know why she’s crying. I take a step back, but that’s as far as I get. Birdie strides toward me and has me wrapped in a hug so tight I can barely breathe.
