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The tears had long dried. My eyes now felt like sandpaper. They were red rimmed and itchy. I had filled two boxes so far of all the memories of Luke and I. One was filled with his clothes. The other had all the gifts he had given to me through out the years. The one I was working on now was filled with pictures. So many pictures.
We looked so happy. What happened?
The accident happened.
It was done.
Complete.
Finished.
I walked around the house taking in the tidiness. Everything was put away in its place. It smelled clean but also like I had been baking all day thanks to my Scensy pots. There was nothing left to do.
Curling up in the chair in the living room I stared out the open window. I still hadn’t bought curtains. I would add that to the list of stuff I forgot to buy. I had two whole days before I started my job. Two whole days to try and get my shit together.
The silence was overwhelming. I had had enough silence for a lifetime. Sitting alone in a room. I didn’t like it anymore. I used to crave the silence. To be left alone for a while. But now, now I wanted some background noise.
Picking up the phone I dialed Gracey.
“Hey!”
“Is Drake with you?” I got up and started pacing.
“Yeah why?”
“Put me on speaker.” My heart started to race. My mind was made up without even talking to them about it.
“What’s up Kac?” It was Drake.
“Have you seen Luke?” I raced into the bathroom.
“Yeah the other day. Why?”
“Kac what are you doing?” Gracey chimed in.
“I don’t want to be alone in this house anymore. I fucking miss him and I need to see him.” Stripping off my oversized t-shirt I continued. “Drake what did you say?”
“Nothing I just know he misses you too.” He was lying.
“I’m going to the bar. I’ll be there in 20 minutes. You can tell him or don’t but I’m going.” I shimmied my pajama bottoms down my legs. “And no don’t come.”
“Okay.” Drake seemed confused.
But Gracey knew exactly what was going on. “Go get him sis! Don’t forget to shave! Love you!”
“Love you. I’ll call tomorrow.”
I tossed my phone onto the counter and turned the shower on. My hair got put in a bun on top of my head. I didn’t have the need or time to wash it right now. I had a one track mind. Get to the bar. Get Luke.
Stepping under the spray I quickly shaved all the important parts. I shaved my legs a couple days ago so fuck that but everything else needed some help. Dragging soap across my body I prayed I would see him. I didn’t know what the heck I was going to say but that would just happen naturally.
I toweled off before heading to my room. I didn’t want to wear anything flashy so I settled for leggings and a hoodie. Pushing a ball cap down over my head I put some brightening cream under my eyes to hide the bags. All set.
Pulling up to the bar I realized how monumentally stupid this was. I’m a fucking idiot. He doesn’t just want to randomly see me at the bar. Right?
