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“Wow, I’m so sorry,” I say, scrambling to wipe the tears from my cheeks.
After finding out about her last night, I knew we’d eventually come face to face. If Chase has any plans to be in our child’s life, that is. The thoughts of how she would react have circled in my mind, but I never expected our first—or technically second—encounter to consist of her welcoming me into her arms. I expected her to scream at me, slap me. Anything other than try to ease my pain.
Emily’s shoulders pull up to her ears, and she looks just as lost as I feel. “Let’s talk,” she says, tipping her head in the direction of the small round table by the window.
I nod and follow her over, settling into the seat across from hers.
I start to open my mouth to speak, but she holds one hand up in front of her and says, “I’d like to go first, if that’s okay.”
My approval is unnecessary and we both know it, so I sit quietly, waiting for her to begin.
She places her things onto the table. A cell phone and a set of keys with a black rubber keychain attached—the name Willow in bright purple letters jumping out at me. Guilt stiffens my shoulders as I fight another wave of nausea. I drag my eyes away from the keychain to focus on her hands, which are shaking slightly and twisting on top of the table. Her fingers are short and thin, her nails polish free and nibbled to the quick.
“When Chase came home after talking to you, he was really upset. I’ve known him since we were kids, and it’s rare for him to be that rattled. Earlier in the day, he told me about you—about the cabins and you being in town. Then last night, he told me you ran off when he said he was married, which was a really idiotic lead-in from him, I have to say. He didn’t tell me your name or about the baby, but I figured it was you—from the coffee shop.”
She lets out a laugh then, but it’s tinged with sadness, piercing the air sharply before fading away.
“Chase has a good heart, but he’s not very good with the deep stuff, and my mind was reeling too much to get into it with him last night. So, I went to bed, but I didn’t sleep. I couldn’t. I just kept thinking about you and how you had to be feeling. It probably sounds silly, but I really liked you when I met you at The Blue Rooster. You seemed so genuine, and it was really bothering me that you were hurting. Plus, I felt like you deserved to know the truth.”
“What do you mean, the truth?”
What more could there possibly be at this point?
Chasehas a daughter I didn’t know about and a wife I didn’t know about. Both of those facts are already weighing heavily on my shoulders. I’m not sure how many more truths can be added on before I snap.
“This might get long, so please bear with me.” She pauses and adjusts in her seat as if she’s uncomfortable, then pulls her shoulders back and drops her hands to her lap. After a few beats, she sighs and brings them back to the table, then leans down on her elbows.
“When I was twenty, I fell madly in love with a musician. We met one summer, at Snowcap actually, and he came back to Gamble Springs to be with me.” She stops like she can’t even believe the words that are coming out of her mouth. “To be honest, I didn’t know him long enough to truly love him, but I was young and naive, and I loved the way he made me feel. Our affair—”
I wince at the word.
“—was brief. But it was all-encompassing for me. He was all I thought about, all I wanted. Those few weeks felt like nothing I had ever known and nothing I’ve ever known since. But it all came to a screeching halt the day I found out I was pregnant.” She pauses with a searching stare, but it takes me time to piece together what she’s trying to tell me.
“Willow?” The name falls from my lips and dangles in the air, clouding my mind with even more questions.
“She isn’t Chase’s biological daughter,” she finishes. “I haven’t heard from her father since he left. Well, except when Chase hunted him down about five years ago. By then, he already had another family—a wife and two children. He didn’t want his wife knowing about Willow.”
I look at the woman across from me, taking in the sharp pain of betrayal in her eyes. I expected to see it there, but I thought I’d be the cause. I thought it would be fresh and raw, not muddied with the tinge of old love’s regret.
“I didn’t handle the first few months of my pregnancy with Willow very well. My father walked out on my mom when I was little, and she had already passed away before I met Willow’s father.”
Her phone vibrates between us on the table and she grabs for it, pressing a button to silence it.
“My mom’s house was paid for, so I had that, but I was still in college, working as a waitress. I knew I couldn’t support a baby, especially one that was a reminder of the man who broke my heart. I feel terrible even thinking it now, but I didn’t want her.”
Her voice is a bitter whisper, and both of our eyes are on her hands again—now clasped together, knuckles white.
Instinctively, I reach my hand out and lay it on top of hers. I have no right to touch her or to sit here and ask her to relive a time that was obviously so painful. But as selfish as it is, I want answers, and if she’s willing to give them to me, I’m going to take them.
“Ilove Willow with every part of me. I would do anything for her. But back then, I didn’t know the first thing about being a mother. I didn’t have any family except for Chase and Drake. We grew up together, so they were like family. Except it’s different, you know? I still felt so alone sometimes, and the idea of bringing a child into that...”
A choke halts her, a single tear trailing down her face. She can’t even meet my eyes.
My grip tightens on her hand, and I lean in close in an attempt to pull her gaze to mine.“Emily, there’s nothing you could say that would cause me to judge you. I mean, for fuck’s sake, I’m carrying your husband’s child. I can’t believe you’re sitting here so calmly or even giving me the time of day. Most women would be clawing my eyes out right now.”
She pulls away then, tipping her head back in laughter.
It’s gentle and sweet, and I find myself lost in the creamy flesh of her long neck as it vibrates. A glutton for punishment, I wonder how many times Chase’s lips have graced the skin there. The thought hurts, but I welcome its sharp sting. What I’m feeling is nothing compared to how Emily must feel.
“I’m screwing all of this up. This isn’t about me,” she says, bringing her chin back down. A final tear slides down her cheek, and she’s quick to wipe it away. “Chase and Iaren’t together. He only married me out of convenience. We love each other, yes, but it’s more of a brother-sister love than anything else. Honestly, I’m the selfish one. I allowed a man to marry me knowing I couldn’t give him the marriage he deserved.”
“Wait, I don’t understand.” The words wheeze out of me as my chest constricts. I couldn’t have possibly heard her correctly.
“The life we’ve built together is for Willow. All of it has always been for Willow.”
