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I finish up in the kitchen and head up the stairs to Emily’s room. I hug one hot mug in between my chest and forearm so I can turn the knob slowly, trying to be as quiet as possible. When I peek my head in, I find her lying on her side. She’s facing the door, phone in hand. Her eyes move to my face when she notices me, but she says nothing. When I push the door open a little wider and her coffee mug comes into view, a smile grows on her face. Of course the coffee gets me a more welcome greeting.
“Who are you stalking on social media?” I tease, moving into the room and pushing the door partly closed with my butt. I carefully transfer the mug back into my hand and place it on her nightstand.
She sets her phone down on her blanket. “Oh my gosh, I looked at his profile one time. One time! That does not make me some crazy stalker.” Teeth gritted, she scoots herself into a sitting position, her movements just as slow and calculated as yesterday. She grabs the steaming cup between her two hands and takes a small, hesitant sip.
I smile at the look of contentment on her face and walk around her bed with my own mug to settle myself on top of the covers.“I’d beg to differ. I’m pretty sure looking into any ex without their knowledge is the very definition of stalking. And I guarantee it’s been more than once over the years.”
“Hey, his profile is public. That’s on him, not me,” she says, not disagreeing with my accusation.
I make a noncommittal sound in my throat as I fold one of her pillows in half and lean against it on the headboard.
“Besides, if he knew I looked him up, you know he’d just bask in the glory of still having my attention.” She tries to play it off like she doesn’t care, but I’ve seen her cry over his absence enough times throughout the years to know better.
After ten years, she still pines after him. I wish she’d had the opportunity to move on, maybe even fall in love again, but that’s just another opportunity cancer robbed from her.
“I’m sorry he’s a douche. He doesn’t know what he’s missing,” I say. But I’m a douche too, because no matter how much I hate that he walked out on her and Willow, I’m thankful that they’re mine.
Her sad smile is her only answer, and she turns back to her coffee.
“Willow wants to start shaving,” I say. “And wearing bras.”
“What?” she asks brusquely. “She’s only ten.”
“Yep. And she thinks I’m the one to convince you.”
She scoffs. “She really doesn’t understand the power dynamic of this relationship at all, does she?”
I snort and cross my arms. “Guess we need to do a better job of explaining who wears the pants in this household.”
“Well...” She waves her hand in the air. “I don’t know. Maybe I’ll just ignore it and hope she forgets.”
“Oh, yes, that sounds just like your daughter.”
She sticks her tongue out at me and laughs, then places her coffee cup on her nightstand. “All right. What did you really come in here to say?”
I sigh and look out over the room. “I hope you know this thing with Addison had nothing to do with my commitment to you andWillow. I can’t say that it meant nothing, because it did. And I can’t say that I regret it, because I don’t, but—”
“Hang on a second, Chase. You really think I’m upset you slept with her?” She rolls her eyes at me like I’m the world’s biggest idiot—and maybe I am.
“I don’t really know what to think, but I’m sure you have plenty to say to me, so let’s hear it,” I say, motioning my hands for her to lay it on me.
Of course she doesn’t disappoint, her finger and loud whisper immediately striking the air between us. “You’re a dumbass, Chase William Prescott. That poor woman cried her eyes out all night long thinking you cheated on me with her. How terrible do you think she must have felt, thinking she might have destroyed our marriage?”
If there’s one thing that can be said about Emily, it’s that she’s a woman’s woman. It’s a trait I first noticed in high school. When the other girls began to fight over boys and were catty to each other at every turn, Emily always took the high road, choosing to build others up and cheer them on. She’s always sheltered, protected, and stuck up for any woman she felt was being wronged. That’s why I’m not surprised she’s trying to smooth things over for Addison’s sake; I just wish she’d take a bit more time to consider what’s best for her in the mix of everything too.
“I already feel like a piece of shit for all this,” I say with a grimace. “I probably should have handled things differently, but I was caught off guard. I was honest with her—maybe not from the beginning like I should have been, but when I told her I was married, I didn’t have time to say anything else before she was gone.”
“Right, and you didn’t run after her or try to explain things. That’s why I had to find her. I probably shouldn’t have gone butting into things, and to be honest, it took me some time to digest it all, but I couldn’t just let her think the worst of you.”
“I know, Em. I understand why you talked to her,” I tell her. “I just wish you hadn’t decided that it needed to be taken care of in the middle of the night. Oron your own.”
“I had a lot of emotions to work through.” She’s contemplative for a second. “You know, at first I was shocked, just like you. And then, yeah, I was angry. But because I’m dying, Chase.”
“Emily,” I start, putting down my coffee cup and twisting my body to face her.
“No, hush. This is why I had to talk to Addison on my own. You’re always trying to make everything better for me, but sometimes I just need to wallow in my self-pity. I needed to process my thoughts on my own and in my own time, without the guilt of what was right or fair. I’m leaving, and you and Willow are staying. That’s been hard enough to come to terms with, and I don’t think I’ll ever completely get there, but now it’s bigger than that. Now, Addison gets you, and you come with Willow. It’s hard not to feel like I’m being replaced.”
I grab her hand and squeeze it in my own. “You know you could never be replaced. You will always be Willow’s mother and my best friend. There is no changing that.”My throat is strained with emotion.
