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I wish this wasn’t our reality. We’ve talked about it time and time again, and still, there are these moments where it feels like a fresh slap to the face.
Emily is going to die.
That overwhelming reminder has me leaning into her and squeezing her hand tighter.
My parents raised me to believe I could have anything I wanted in life as long as I worked hard to achieve it. They taught me that nothing was unattainable, and I’ve lived with that mantra in mind. But for the first time in my life, I’m being faced with an impossible situation, one I can’t make right for the people I love.Helpless isn’t a feeling I do well with.
“Yeah, I do know that, but I’m only human,” she says. “I’m going to feel territorial when it comes to you and Willow. You’re my family. And sure, I knew that someday you would find someone to love, and you’d probably have more children, but I never thought I’d be around to witness it. And with that comes the strangest mix of relief and sadness.”
The word love in relation to Addison makes me feel queasy. Not because it doesn’t feel right, but because it does. I turn my eyes downward and realize Emily has stopped talking and is looking up at me thoughtfully.
“I really like her,” she says quietly. “I was terrified to talk to her yesterday morning, Chase. Oh my god, you should have seen me. I was shaking so bad and was just a complete mess. But the last of my anger disappeared when I saw how devastated she was. It’s not that I wanted her to feel bad, but the fact that she did made me feel like she might just be worthy of you after all. Plus, she made it clear that she has no intentions of trying to steal you away from me.”
I look over at my best friend. The mother of my child. The woman who has been by my side during all the most important moments of my life.
“No one could ever steal me away from you,” I tell her.
Instead, it’s the cancer stealing her away from me.
