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Violet
Violet had no intention of ever seeing Tristan again.
She loved him, that was true. And she liked him, which was an even bigger problem. If she would even let herself think about it, she probably could see herself mated to him. But she wasn’t going to let herself think about it. It wasn’t a possibility.
No matter how much she liked him, no matter how much she loved him even, she would never be anyone's mate.
She’d tried to tell him. But he didn't get the message.
He’d talked about going home. And then he’d pointedly asked her how she felt about Alaska. She'd been so vague and only smiled, which she assumed would dampen his enthusiasm. But it did not. He was planning to send her a plane ticket so that she could come visit him.
"No pressure, I promise,” he’d said. “I know you have your own life here. But I just want you to see what you think, okay?"
"I can't make any commitments. I don't know what my schedule will be like."
She needed to work on being more direct. But the females in her pack had learned diplomacy at an early age. They’d learned to couch their words in pleasantries and make them softer. They were never blunt, and they never spoke without extreme tact. It was a difficult habit to unlearn. Especially when she had used it all day, every day, while growing up. She knew she needed to look him in the eye and say, "Tristan, you are a nice male, but I am not going to visit you. I will not continue this relationship; this is goodbye.”
But she could not do it. She opened her mouth several times, but the words refused to come out. Was there a part of her that still thought she might change her mind? Maybe hidden somewhere in the deepest part of her brain?
No. That just was not possible. She could not take that risk.
"I'll send you a voucher." He said the word so easily because his money meant nothing to him. He had no idea what it was like for her to have to scrape together the money for a bus ticket. Or for a meal when she couldn't get out to hunt. That's why she could never go back to a city again.
His life had been easy and uncomplicated. Sure, he had some struggles. But he had no idea what she had been through.
You could tell him.
She had told him. At least the main parts. But it was true that she had not told him the details of how it impacted her minute to minute, every day, every hour of her life. And maybe it always would.
She knew that humans went to therapy. She'd considered it. Supposedly there were some free hotlines and Canada had some free mental health care clinics that she could visit. But she couldn't imagine looking at a human and trying to tell her story. Of course, she could just say she'd grown up in a cult with a controlling leader. She had learned so much about the human world from the library and from books, and over the last year through television and movies.
She knew there were humans out there who had suffered the same way that she had. There were humans who were forced into early marriages and young women who were sold as brides. But through all of that, was the fact that she was a female shifter. It was part of who she was and there was no way to separate it. Maybe she just wasn't ready to talk about it. She was tired of thinking about it. She wanted to go back to the days where she'd been numb. She'd woken up, washed her face, and then done her job. And then collapsed back into her tent at night, ready to pass out.
Thinking about the way she had lived was exhausting. It took a toll on her. Of course, Tristan was a nice guy and he’d noticed that she'd gotten lost in her own head from time to time. Just now, he brushed his fingers over her cheek. "Hey. Are you okay?"
"Yes. I'm just tired." She’d forced a smile.
"Like I said, I'll get you an airline voucher and then I'll send it to you. I'll email it and I'll mail you a hard copy here at the campground. Do they give you your mail? I guess I should make sure first."
"Yes. They give me my mail." She knew it was cruel to lead him on like this. Once he was gone, she would email him. She would tell him that it was over so that he didn't waste any more time and money on her. She wasn't willing to live within the confines of a relationship, or a pack, but she wasn't a mean person, and she didn't want to become that way. She never wanted to be pinned down, but that didn't mean she needed to become a jerk.
Her life would always be changing. She planned to live on the move, never settling in any one place for longer than a few months.
That night she sat down at the computer in the campground office. Her boss had allowed her to use it. She began to search for places she, Angelina, and Onyx might like. She looked at Chile, Peru, and Costa Rica. She looked at Romania, Turkey, and Finland. And then one of the photos caught her. Finland, that's where she wanted to go.
* * *
Angelina and Onyxwanted to go as well, which she’d anticipated. That was one reason the three of them got along so well. "I'm ready to move on,'' she said. “I want to go to Finland. I've saved enough money for all three of us to purchase a plane ticket."
When they were one hour from leaving, she sat back down at her boss’s computer. She didn't have a cell phone, so there would be no way to track her.
Thanks to the witch’s ability, they had been able to buy the plane ticket under fake names.
At first, Angelina had been surprised. “Why do you need a fake name? I thought your family wouldn’t bother coming after you.”
“I don't want anyone to know where I am,” Violet said.
"I'm fairly sure I can make that happen. Are you worried about your boyfriend finding you?”
