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A desperate sound escapes her as she struggles to breathe through the finality of death.
“I can’t remember the last words I said to her.”
“Don’t think about things like that. Not now.”
I caress her jaw with my thumbs, keeping my forehead pressed against hers.
“I wish I could take your pain. I’d do anything to make this easier for you.”
She presses her mouth to mine, and feeling her trembling lips, breaks my heart a little more. Tonight is changing me. I’ll never be the same again.
All I know with unwavering certainty—it no longer has anything to do with me wanting her, but all about her needing me.
888
LEIGH
I can’t cope with the thought that I’ll never see Mom again. I’ll never hear her voice again.
She won’t be here to see me perform my first surgery.
She won’t help me plan my wedding.
My children will never know how amazing their grandmother is… was.
Her heart stopped beating. It’s no longer pulsing blood through her veins.
My entire life I’ve been obsessed with the heart. I wanted to know everything about it. I wanted to conquer it, but instead, it conquered me.
I need a moment’s relief from the pain, or it will drive me insane.
I pour all my heartache into the kiss, silently begging Jaxson to give me this moment I desperately need.
“You’re hurting,” he murmurs against my lips.
“Please,” I beg, not caring about how I’ll feel tomorrow. This moment is what matters. Tomorrow I have to face the harrowing reality of life devoid of my mother. I have to go back to a home which will haunt me with echoes of my mother’s life. I only have this one chance with Jaxson to take the edge off my harsh reality before I’m forced to face it.
When he tries to say something else, I stop his words by deepening the kiss. A deep groan rumbles up his throat finding an echo inside of me.
When he pulls away, I grab hold of the hem of my shirt and yank it over my head. I shove my panties and shorts down my legs and kick them away.
“Fuck, Doc, you’re killing me,” he growls.
I need him to growl. I need him to hate-fuck me. I need him to devour me so I can find relief from this intense ache and futile sense of emptiness.
I grip the hem of his shirt and relief eases the pain when he allows me to pull it off. I press my mouth to his chest, and as a wave of despair hits, I sink my teeth into his skin.
“Fuck,” he hisses.
He unbuckles his belt, pulls down his zip, and shoves his jeans and boxers to the floor. I’m so far gone that I don’t take in the beauty of his naked body. I know I’ll regret it tomorrow, but right now I don’t care.
He takes a condom from his wallet and I know I’m supposed to feel relieved that he remembered, but I just don’t care.
When he’s done sheathing his cock, his fingers dig into my hips, and he lifts me against his body. The warmth from his skin chases some of the chill from my body. He wraps an arm around my waist to keep me pinned to him as he walks us to the bed.
When he lays me on the mattress, he follows, crawling up my body until he’s hovering over me. As I bring my hands to his sides, he lowers himself on top of me until we’re touching from head to toe.
He’s hard where I’m soft. He’s hot where I’m cold.
