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He doesn’t respond again. His breathing is still loud and ragged.
“No one can tighten their grip hard enough to hold the whole world together.” My voice is raspy with emotion. I’m almost crying. “No one can do it.”
He doesn’t answer with anything except a shaky inhale, but he’s almost leaning his face into my hand.
I have no idea what else to say, so I shift so I can wrap him in both my arms, holding him tightly against me. He returns the hug so that we’re holding each other, and very gradually I feel his body relax, soften, all the hard tension that’s defined him for so long slowly releasing.
It’s better than anything else I can remember—the feel of him letting go, even just for a little while. The weight of tenderness in my chest spreads down below my belly until it feels like all my female parts are clamped down tight.
Everything in me trying to hold on to him.
After a long time, he nuzzles at my neck. Then starts to kiss me there. I want all of what he can give me when he turns me over onto my back and kisses me hard and deep.
I cling to him with my arms, my lips. I wrap my legs around him, hooking my ankles so I don’t lose the hold. He fills my senses. The weight of him. The scent of him. The sound of his thick breathing.
He feels like mine—in all his tightly held angst, his guilt, his nearly impenetrable walls.
His cock has hardened between our bodies, and the shape of it pressing against me fuels my own arousal. So when he finally breaks the kiss and pulls his erection out of his underwear, I’m ready for him. He feels more urgent than normal, almost clumsy as he yanks off my panties, levers my thighs apart, and pushes his way inside me.
I make a mewling sound at the penetration. Wrap my legs around him again, hooking my ankles and trying to get them higher up on his back.
He usually talks to me some in bed. Changes our positions. Makes me come at least once before he loses control. But tonight he seems beyond that. He’s taking me hard and fast already, pumping his hips and grunting wordlessly.
I grip him tight with my legs and inner muscles. The friction is deep and intense—achy in that way that seems to speak to my innermost need. An orgasm is starting to build at my core, but it’s slow, and it doesn’t feel like it’s going to happen soon enough.
I don’t even care. Nothing has ever felt so good as being with Grant like this. With him all the way.
His face twists with effort as he fucks me. “Can you come?”
“No. Not now. But I don’t want to. I want you to come.”
“I can—”
“No, I want you to.” I squeeze around him even harder until he jerks his head to the side with a helpless guttural sound. “Come. Come now. Let go, Grant. Please.”
“Oh fuck!” He falls out of rhythm. Ducks his head down and jerks his hips. He’s about to come. I know it for sure. Which means he should be pulling out like he normally does.
But he doesn’t. He comes inside me with a breathless, carnal sound, continuing to push into me until the last of his climax has passed.
His weight rests on me fully for a few moments afterward in a way he never lets himself do. I keep holding him tight. I stroke his back. I love how his body has softened and relaxed so much it’s almost limp on top of me.
Then he finally straightens his arms and lifts himself up. “Damn it,” he mutters.
“It’s fine.”
“No, it isn’t. I didn’t pull out. For a second time. What the hell is wrong with me?” He flops over on his back beside me, turning his head to face my direction.
“You just forgot. It’s got to be hard to remember when you get caught up in what you’re doing. It’s not that big a deal.”
“It is a big deal, unless you want me to get you pregnant.” There’s not a question in the words, but there’s a very faint one on his face.
I shake my head. “Yeah, that wouldn’t be my first choice. I mean, not right now. But even when you pull out and even if we don’t do it when I’m most fertile, it’s not perfectly safe. I mean, I could still get pregnant. And this obviously isn’t the ideal time for that, but it wouldn’t be the end of the world.”
He’s quiet for a minute. Then he asks softly, “Yeah?”
“Probably good for the human race, to tell you the truth. Since no one much is having babies anymore.”
He chuckles at this. Then reaches out and pulls me closer to his side, under the crook of his arm. “You could definitely do better than me for the dad.”
