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“What?” My whole body stiffens at this until I make it relax. “No way. You’d be a great dad. You’d just maybe need to work on smiling a little more.”
This time he laughs for real and tightens his arm around me. “I guess. I’d do the best I could. I’d take care of you. Both of you. I’d never leave you stranded.”
“I know you wouldn’t.” I’d rather have him stick around because he loves me, but I’d never dream of doubting his commitment and responsibility toward a child. And his child’s mother.
In all this time, for more than five years now since the day he showed up at my school, I’ve never had a single doubt that Grant would and could take care of me.
It’s just that I want to take care of him too, and he still doesn’t know how to let me.
“You all right otherwise?” he asks in a different tone. “I came way too soon just now. You want me to get you off?”
“No. I’m good. Getting kind of tired, if you want to know the truth.”
“Yeah. We got to try to put together a plan tomorrow. Not much more of this waiting. Try to get some sleep.” He’s still holding me against him but not as tightly now. It’s warm and close and comfortable, and I snuggle against him.
I try to stay awake because I want to see when he falls asleep. I want to see and feel him sleeping.
It doesn’t work. It’s been a long day in a long week in a long year in the aftermath of a global disaster.
I fall asleep in just a few minutes, so I don’t get to see Grant sleeping after all.
