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SADIE
“You’re amazing. You know that, right?” Drew asked, his arms still encircling me. Him comforting me was surreal. Holding me like this and actually talking at the same time.
“Bad things happen to people every day. Life is what you make of it.”
He let out a gentle scoff as he tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. “You make it sound so simple.”
“Simple and easy are two different things. You’re right, in that it is a fairly simple lesson, but it wasn’t easy getting there. Took me a hell of a lot of emotional work to come to terms with it.”
It wasn’t like I was some genius who had everything figured out, but I did have firsthand experience with redefining yourself after suffering through something horrific. That was the point I hoped would sink in with him.
“What if it’s not the terrible events you can’t get over, but who you became afterward?” he asked.
I sat upright and examined his face, the pain in the set of his mouth, the anguish churning behind those blue eyes.
“How much did Ivy tell you?” he asked.
“Enough to know you did something heroic and lost your leg in the process.”
He blew out a harsh breath. “That’s just it. Everyone thinks it’s about my leg. Or how awful the accident itself was. That those are the reasons I’m so pissed off and aloof.”
“That’s not it?”
“I don’t remember much about the accident.”
“Probably for the best.” The thought of him reliving such a grisly event made my chest hurt. It was a blessing he didn’t remember it.
“It’s weird. Little bits and pieces are insanely clear and other parts are totally blank. My girlfriend and I had a huge fight and broke up that night.”
“Guinevere? I thought you guys were together for a while after the accident.”
He gave me a surprised look. His right hand, which had been idly coasting up and down my back, clamped down over my hip. Like he was worried I was going to bolt all of a sudden.
“Small town. I met her at Strange Brew once.” I shrugged. “She seems nice.”
“Right.” His brow furrowed. “We didn’t have a ten-year plan, and we weren’t quite on the same page about a lot of things. Then I went and did something stupid. We’d been living together in an apartment for a couple of years and started talking about getting a house together. But in hindsight, I think it was mostly me talking about it and her listening without actually agreeing it was a good idea. Then this place went up for sale that was absolutely perfect. I thought it would be a grand romantic gesture, so I made an offer on it without talking to her first.”
“Wow. That’s…”
“Colossally stupid? Yeah.” He shook his head. “She was pissed. Rightfully so. I wasn’t the most responsible when it came to money back then and the house was way outside our budget. We had this real knock-down drag-out fight where a bunch of other stuff we’d both been bottling up came out and we decided we were done. I stormed off to the Tipsy Elk to feel sorry for myself while she packed up her shit.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. In my head, I’d painted a picture of them having an idyllic relationship that got crushed under the weight of the aftermath of his accident. I imagined Gwen as someone who gave up on him when he needed her most.
“That fight, I remember it like it was yesterday. Leaving the Elk that night is a blur though. Pulling up to find Glenn and Russ in that car on the tracks? I can remember the song playing on the radio as I pulled up, how crisp the air was when I rolled down the window to ask if they needed help before I realized Glenn was slumped over the steering wheel. The dump of adrenaline that hit me when the train whistled off in the distance. I remember Glenn coming to while I was dragging him out of the car, getting belligerent and fighting me off. But the rest of it is gone. I don’t remember how I ended up on the tracks or getting caught under the train.”
I shuddered and laid my head back down on his shoulder for a moment, squeezing my arms around him.
“Next thing I knew, I came to in a hospital bed. I’d been in a coma for three weeks. When I woke up, my entire life was different. Gwen was there, and I could tell she was determined to stick it out. To take care of me. Out of obligation, not because we were madly in love. She was the one that delivered the news. My sister didn’t know we’d broken up and she couldn’t bear to…”
Sitting back up, I studied his face for clues. “I don’t understand. She told you about your leg?”
“No, the doctors got that pleasure. I knew there was something wrong with my body from the moment I woke up. But Gwen—Gwen told me about my mom.”
My heart lurched in my chest.
“We usually did a Sunday night dinner. Me, Gwen, my sister and her husband. Val and Kevin were out of town that weekend, and I blew off my mom that night because of my fight with Gwen. Skipped family dinner. She…” He choked on the words but then pushed through. “She had a heart attack that night. Alone.”
“Oh my god, Drew.” I put my hands on his face and captured his gaze. “That’s not your fault though. You know that, right?”
