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Her words weren’t an apology—not necessarily. But they were an acknowledgment, the first he’d gotten in Greenbelt from anyone except for his grandmother. It was a bizarre thing, the way it made him happy and angry at the same time.
“It’s not your fault,” he told her. “I needed more help than any of you could give me anyway.”
Jade shook her head, dissatisfied. “It still wasn’t right. Greenbelt should have been better to you, Wally,” she coughed. “I mean, Walker. It probably means next to nothin’ at this point, but those of us who have grown the hell up have realized that people deserved better from us. You deserved better from us.”
His jaw clenched tight, trying hard to hold back an onslaught of tears or words or unrestrained emotions. Yet again, Walker didn’t know what to say. Didn’t know how to convey what he was feeling because he didn’t know what that feeling was. All he knew was that it was more good than bad.
“Thank you,” he managed to choke out between his clenched teeth. “Thank you, Jade.”
She flashed him an understanding smile, her shoulders untightening when she turned back to her stirring.
Walker nearly gasped in relief when he heard the lock on the front door turn. Five people stumbled through the doorway, talking and laughing the way only people who knew each other well could.
Jade seemed a little startled as she put the top back on her pot and went to greet everyone. He and Aja stood, fingers brushing as they watched the exchange of kisses and hugs.
“I really am sorry,” Aja said. “I should have remembered we talked about you, that they knew you. Now I’ve put you in an awkward situation and I… I’m just really sorry. We can leave if you’re uncomfortable, OK? I’ll tell them that I’m not feeling well, and we can go.”
He was still trying to wrap his head around his feelings. It was disconcerting to be in a room of people who knew you—or, at least, knew of you—but who you didn’t remember. He wasn’t angry at Aja though. She wouldn’t knowingly put him in an uncomfortable situation.
He hooked his index finger and curled it around hers. “I’m all right, just a little shocked. But you don’t need to blame yourself, OK? Somethin’ like this was bound to happen at some point. I’m surprised it wasn’t sooner.”
“But you’ll still let me know if you want to leave? I don’t want you to suffer just for me. One dinner party isn’t more important than your mental health.”
“I will let you know if I want to leave,” he agreed.
“Promise?”
He lifted their hands and placed a dry kiss on the back of her finger. “Yes, Peaches, I promise.”
It was the first time he’d called her that outside of a sexual context, but it felt right. Settled. From the way her expression changed from distressed to pleased, he could tell Aja liked it just as much as he did. He looked at her for a while, glowing under his gaze even in the face of discomfort. Bright and beautiful, outshining every other thing in his head. He felt strengthened by her, and that strength was only bolstered by how she seemed to draw the same thing from him.
“Now, introduce me to your new friends before I start throwin’ my emotions up all over the cheese tray or somethin’.”
