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Fifteen
Davit
“You remembered a car seat?”Amethyst said when I broke away from her and led her to the SUV.
I’d only stopped touching her long enough to lock the cell phone in a case that would block any signal.
I smiled. “That was probably Kayla’s doing,” I said.
“Yeah, that seems like her,” she responded. “I guess I have her to thank for the rest of this too?”
“What?” I asked.
She picked up a bag I hadn’t even noticed and opened it.
“I guess so,” I said.
Amethyst smiled. “I will thank her.” She froze then looked around. “Should we go?”
I could see her fear and tried to soothe it away. “I’ve checked the place out. We can take a few minutes.”
I wanted us gone, but I also wanted Amethyst to feel safe, feel normal, and we could spare two minutes for that.
She smiled, then grabbed the bag and walked to the rear of the SUV. I opened the hatch and laid out the changing mat. Watched as Amethyst changed Crystal and changed her into a fresh onesie.
“Isn’t that better?” she cooed at Crystal, who responded with spit bubbles.
Seeing that made my heart swell.
And reminded me of how much I had failed them.
I looked away, unable to bear looking at the people I loved so much, the ones I’d failed.
“All right, let’s get going,” Amethyst said.
She picked up Crystal and strapped her into the car seat.
“I’ll sit on the other side,” I said.
I waited until she was seated, then circled the SUV.
I wanted to be near her, hold her, but I could see how reluctant she was to even put a car seat’s distance between her and Crystal.
I understood, and instead of holding her like I wanted, I reached across the car seat to squeeze her hand, then I rubbed Crystal’s foot.
I had had her in my life for only a blink of an eye, but as I touched her again, it struck me how much she mattered, how I loved her in a way that I didn’t even really understand.
Didn’t have words for.
I looked at Amethyst, who hadn’t taken her eyes off Crystal.
“Amethyst, I…”
I trailed off as she shook her head.
“We can talk later,” she said.
She reached across and squeezed my hand, and I smiled at her, hoping, praying, that she understood how I felt.
