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Eighteen
Amethyst
“Everything looks good, Mrs. Petrosyan,”the doctor said.
“And Crystal?” I asked, looking at the pediatrician.
“She’s great. I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. She’s perfectly healthy,” the woman said.
“Thank you both,” I said.
Davit escorted the doctors out, and after I checked on Crystal, I showered, then threw on a T-shirt, again thankful for Kayla and impressed at how thorough she was.
By the time I emerged from the bathroom, Davit was standing in the entryway of the bedroom.
But he made no move to come to me, which hurt me in a way I didn’t anticipate and didn’t even have the words for.
I needed to give him grace, tried to remember that he had suffered. I knew how hard this all had been for him, couldn’t imagine how powerless my brave, strong husband must have felt.
How feeling that way had to cut him to the core.
But as much as I understood, as much as I never wanted to be a burden to him, I needed him.
I looked at him again, saw that he still made no effort to come to me.
So I did something that was hard for me, something I almost never did.
I asked for what I wanted.
For what I needed.
“Can you hold me?” I whispered.
He moved in an instant.
He came to me, pulled me in a hug so tight it made me lose my breath.
It was perfect.
I hugged him back, and then, finally, let go of the tears that I had been fighting.
Through it all, he held me.
“It’s okay,” he whispered, his voice soothing.
“I know,” I said around hiccups and tears. “It’s just…”
I trailed off, trying to gather myself.
“We could have lost her,” I said, forcing the words that I didn’t want to speak out of my throat.
“We didn’t,” he said. “We won’t.”
I latched onto that, told myself that I could be as brave as he was, hoped that I would eventually believe it.
I pulled back, looked up at him, the moment shifting, my need for more unwilling to be denied.
I stretched up tall, kissed him, put all the emotion, all of the fear into that kiss.
