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I pull it out of my pocket and drop it into her hand, letting myself touch her a little longer than I should. She stares down at it, the gold twisted rope bow necklace I bought her when I was sixteen, the one she loved and lost years ago. The one that I have a tattoo of on my thumb. She stares up at me blinking, mouth ajar.
“Beej.” She blinks. “I love this necklace.”
“I know.” I nod.
“This was the first thing you ever gave me.”
“I know.”
“I lost it.”
“I know.” I laugh. We looked forever for that fucking necklace when she lost it in a club in Greece when she was seventeen. Not because it was expensive but because I gave it to her.
“I was so sad—” She stares at me.
I nod. “I remember.”
“They don’t make these anymore,” she tells me like I don’t know.
“Enter: pawn shop,” I say, trying to keep it light.
“Thank you.” She swallows.
“Yeah, of course.” I give her a quick smile because her eyes have gone full Bambi and I’m only so strong.
“Do you want to come in?” she asks me, eyes soft and watching my mouth. She bites down on her bottom lip. If she leans in towards me I’ll be a goner.
I’ll have cheated on the only two girlfriends I’ve ever had.
I press my hand into my mouth, barely get my head to shake.
“No,” I tell her and I reckon her eyes blink in morse code PLEASE.
The corners of her mouth turn up into this smile that’s trying to cover up how she feels like I’ve rejected her and then she nods quickly.
She turns on her heel and opens her door, slips inside without saying anything else and closes it behind her.
My head falls backwards and I sigh. Cover my face with my hands. What am I doing? What the fuck am I doing? I pull out my phone.
Call her.
“Hello?” She answers after three rings, sounding confused.
“Hey,” I say.
Pause.
“Hi,” she says eventually.
“What are you doing?”
She pauses. “I just got in from a walk.”
“Yeah? Good one?”
“It could have been better,” she says and I sigh. “I love my necklace, though.”
“Good.” I nod to myself. “I’m glad.”
