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“Am I ever going to be good enough for you?”
He says that and he means it. The hurt is old, I can see that. A lake monster that’s lurked beneath the surface til now, it wanders up to the shore and stands there between us.
Is he good enough for me? The thought has literally never crossed my mind, not once. And I don’t care if he’s not, I want him anyway. I don’t know what ‘good enough’ even means. All I want from him, the only thing I need from him in the world, is to know that I can trust him.
And that I don’t know.
I take a staggered breath — I don’t know when exactly I started crying but I am now. I cup my hands over my mouth and nose and try to take big breaths.
Taura stands up, moving next to me, looking unsettled between us.
She’s never seen us in action.
I look over at Jonah.
“I’d like to go now.”
Jo nods, standing up, pulling out his phone, and makes a call.
I follow after him.
“Is this it, then?” Beej calls after me. His breathing is jagged. “Are you going to fuck back off to New York?”
I spin around on my heel and shove him. “Fuck you!”
“You did last night.” He nods, coolly. “Kind of your thing now, right?”
I shake my head at him, smacking tears away from my face as they fall and I follow after Jonah.
“Give Rush my best,” the love of my life yells after me.
And you know what? Maybe I will.
