AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Here?” I looked around us, horrified.
“Yep.”
“Now?”
“Mmhm.” She nodded.
“No.” I shook my head.
“Why?”
“Because this is weird and you’re acting insane.”
“I’m not insane, I’m curious!” She shrugged like it was nothing, like she wasn’t asking me to act out both our nightmares in front of her.
I glared over at her. “Curious about what?”
She mashed her lips together. “About who you really are.”
I blinked, taken aback. “You know who I really am.”
“Do I?” she asked, bottom lip trembling.
I looked away from her, shook my head, bit down on my bottom lip. Felt like crying myself. She didn’t know me? She’s the only fucking person who ever has.
“Show me.” She drummed her fingers on the table impatiently.
I stared over at her, pretty hurt myself by that point. “Why are you asking me to do this?”
“Because it doesn’t mean anything! Obviously!” she yelled. “To you and to me. I don’t care. Okay? I want you to know that I don’t care about you. Like that. Anymore.” She took a staggered breath. “Fuck whoever you want as much as you want. Don’t not do it for me.” She was crying when she said it. “Because we’re just friends — if that!” She shook her head, wiped her face. “I obviously don’t know you how I thought I did, and I don’t care about you like that, so show me.”
Her chest was heaving. It was a fucking lie — I knew it, she knew it — but holy shit it still hurt.
I sucked on my bottom lip, nodded over at her and then smacked both my hands down on the table, pushing myself up and away from her.
If I was a better man at the time, I would have just taken her home, told her I was sorry. Actually, if I was a better man we wouldn’t have had the conversation in the first place. If I was a better man I would have looked at Paili in the bathroom that night, and when she asked me if I was okay I would have said, “No, I feel like shit, can you take me to my girlfriend?” And I would have told Magnolia what happened and who I saw and she would have reacted how she did that day at Dunstan’s and we never would have broken up, I would have married her, I would have knocked her up again, we’d be living Devon way, maybe in the south of France, and I wouldn’t have been in Bali looking for a girl to fuck to spite Magnolia.
My eyes landed on a hot enough girl with eyes that were good but not as good as Parks’. Blonde hair. Big smile. I went over to her, positioned myself so Parks could see the whole thing.
I ducked apologetically into the conversation she was having with her friend, offered her my hand. She glanced at her friend before shaking it, smiling up at me the way all girls do.
“Are they real?” I nodded at her eyes, the start of my routine. Look into them in a way that makes her think I mean it. Then I shake my head like they’re the best fucking eyes I’ve ever seen. Worked all the time.
I nodded at her mouth. “Did you have braces?” I asked. Sometimes I’ll ask “Are those your real lips?” to change it up, but it’s all just so she’ll look at my mouth. I have a good mouth. I’ll bite down on it, give her a crooked grin. That’s usually all it takes.
All it took that night, anyway.
The girl asked me about Magnolia — guess she’d seen me before I saw her.
“Just a friend.” I shrugged. “If that,” I added, just for spite even though she couldn’t hear me.
“Can I buy you a drink?” I asked her. She said yes, and then, well, you know the rest.
She left after. I stayed up all night sick over what I’d done. Climbed out of bed before sun up the next morning. Grabbed a blanket from the couch and headed for balcony.
And there she was. My favourite person in the world. Tiny pyjamas, hair whipping around her face as she stared out at the Indian Ocean.
I slid open the door and stepped out onto the balcony with her.
