AllFreeNovel
Share Us
My jaw falls open. “He did not.”
“Yeah.” Beej laughs. “Gave me a lesson and everything. He was like, ‘Have you ever used…?’ And I said no, and he nodded back into the room and sighed and was like, ‘okay, come on then.’”
“Oh my god!” I laugh.
“He had me practice on a stapler.” He laughs, shaking his head. “He was a good guy.”
I like how his face goes when we talk about being young. Like all the pain and trauma and shit we’ve put each other through lifts for a minute and his face looks how it lives in my mind anyway.
“I was going to postpone it—” He chews down on his bottom lip, remembering.
“Postpone what?” I frown.
He shrugs. “Us. Doing that.”
“Were you?” I pull back, a bit surprised. “Why?”
“I don’t know—” He stares down at our hands still touching. “I was nervous.”
“Really?” I blink. “Because of—?” My voice trails.
He shrugs. “Maybe. I wasn’t thinking about it much then, buried it pretty deep, but I’m sure that was a bit of it. And then just, like, I think I knew. You know what I mean?”
I shake my head. “Like I had a sense that we’d do that and then we wouldn’t be kids anymore.”
“Oh.” I feel a tiny bit sad at that.
“I loved being a kid with you.” He smiles over at me. “I was going to tell you before I saw you that I thought we should wait. But then I saw you.”
I swallow heavy. “What happened when you saw me?”
He shrugs.
“I saw you.” He squashes a smile. “You were so brown. You know how I get when you’re brown—”
“I do.” I nod, blushing. “Though I’m sorry you did it if you weren’t ready—”
“I’m not.” He shakes his head. “Probably my favourite night of my life up to then—”
“And then after that?”
“Dartmouth and the lock.” Beej nods his head towards my stomach. “And then probably us at the tree last year—”
“Are all your favourite nights with me?” I ask him.
“Yeah.” He nods without thinking. “Why? What are yours?”
With him. Of course with him. All my best nights, all my worst ones, all are with him and I wonder if this is the point. This is what I’m swimming towards: not just in love with him but a whole wonderful, terrifying, beautiful, painful life with him.
I purse my lips. “I love the ones you said. I loved the day you gave me your family crest—” I give him an apologetic smile for throwing it away. “I really loved the night after we first had sex.”
“Why?” He laughs, confused.
“Because we weren’t nervous anymore.” I shrug. “And it was so fun and new and I loved sneaking around with you.” Our eyes graze and my heart casts a line out to him.
It catches and I swallow heavy.
He nods his chin over at me. “Want to make another favourite night soon?”
