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“No. I mean—” She tried to backtrack but it was too late.
“Why would she have done that on purpose?” I give BJ a look.
“Maybe she wanted you to get caught?” He shrugs. “Level the playing field, ease her own guilt.”
And maybe he’s right. It was a fuck up of epic proportions.
“It doesn’t make sense.” He shrugs. “No one likes sleeping with you. Everyone always would rather let you have your own room because you’re such a fucking pain to share with.”
I pout and he shrugs anyway.
“She had to know what she was doing,” he says, sounding sure.
Then he nods at me with his chin. “Why’d you and Christian call it that night, anyway?”
“Mm.” I twitch my mouth around, thinking. “Well, once it became apparent that he and I were still seeing each other, Jonah starting losing his shit. I was yelling at Jonah and you were sort of just sitting there, a bit dumbstruck, and then you shook your head and said, ‘You know what man? It’s fine.’ When Christian told me you said that, my face fell. And he knew I still loved you.” I nod to myself. “So he took me aside and told me he wasn’t anyone’s placeholder. He ended it.”
Beej nods once, a bit annoyed. “And then held onto it for another three years afterwards.”
I give him a look and he laughs again.
“I walked you home that night, do you remember? I could have thrown up I was so excited you let me.”
“You said you’d drive me home.”
We walked for miles. Literally miles.
We were almost back at my house when I looked up at him with a frown.
“You parked really far away from the restaurant.”
He laughed. “I actually took a car in.”
I blinked at him, frowning in disbelief.
“I’m parked out front on Park Lane.” He shrugged apologetically. “I’m just not ready to be done talking to you yet.”
“BJ!” I laughed, staring up at him — side-stepping my beating heart. “Do you know how sore it is to walk in these shoes?”
I flashed him my six-inch Louboutins.
“Sorry—” He sniffed a laugh and smiled down at me. “Here, I’ll carry you the rest of the way.”
“What?” I blinked. “Like a pack mule?”
He gave me a tender smile. “I’d be anything for you.”
“Will you be my friend?” I asked, staring up at him, wanting so, so much more than that.
He nodded once on that street corner. “Whatever the fuck you need, Parks.”
Under these club lights oftentimes things can look better than they are. We’ve all fallen victim to that, rose-coloured, strobing glasses — but not him. All golden even though he’s not, my favourite mouth in the world on the face I see when I close my eyes. BJ presses his tongue into his bottom lip and I want to kiss him so badly — he’s watching my mouth — he wants to kiss me too. I know the look. He’s leaning in towards me, I think. I wonder if he’s going to do it — leaning, leaning, leaning — and it’s for a fraction of a second before he pulls back, shakes his head a bit but sort of not at all.
“Where’s Jules?” He looks around. “We should find him.”
“Oh.” I blink a few times and nod. “Okay.”
That throws me a little.
