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I had dated a lot, but if I'd known Drew was interested, I would have jumped at the chance to date him. He was Drew Burrows after all—the guy I'd daydreamed about my entire adolescence.
"Looks like we should have gotten braver years ago,” I said. “I always thought I was just some bucket-list item to you."
"Bucket-list item?"
"You know, gotta check off kissing my best friend's sister. Guys have those kinds of things." Kind of like how I'd just been another notch in Nolan's belt.
Drew shook his head. "I already told you, Aiden threatened me pretty much every day that he would beat me up if I ever touched you."
"He never would have won.” I grinned. “You were always so much bigger than him."
Drew winked. "I didn't want to embarrass him then."
We were quiet for a moment, thinking about the past that could have been if we hadn't made our own assumptions on so many things.
"So you never thought I was a bad kisser?" I asked hesitantly.
Drew chuckled. "Never."
"Did you ever think about it after that day?" I scooted closer to him.
Drew sat up and leaned forward as well. "All. The. Time."
Our eyes locked as if magnetized to each other, because we both leaned in. My insides melted when I saw Drew's gaze dip to my lips. I closed my eyes, touching my forehead against his, and waited. My breathing was shallow, but I slipped my hand along his shoulder.
And just when I felt Drew's breath on my face, the image of him down on one knee, getting engaged to Gwen, flashed through my mind.
"Stop. Wait, wait," I choked out. "We can't."
Drew went still beneath my hand. "We can't?"
It took all of my willpower to pull back. "You're getting engaged next week."
"It isn't a real engagement."
"I know." I looked down and ran a finger across Drew's chest, smoothing the fabric of his shirt as I remembered all the women Nolan had messaged and spent time alone with. I'd foolishly been oblivious to it all. I had blindly trusted him with my heart, and he'd tossed me aside once he'd gotten what he wanted.
All of that was done in secret. Could I handlewatchingDrew pretending to be engaged to another woman—a gorgeous woman whom he'd had feelings for at one time?
I knew the answer. I wasn't strong enough.
"I don't think I could handle kissing you, only to watch you ask someone to marry you a few days later. I just…" I sighed and gazed at him. "I can't do it after everything that happened with Nolan. Real or fake. I-I think it would break me."
Drew sunk back into the couch and released a defeated sigh.
"But if it makes you feel better," I added with a half-hearted smile, "I really, really want to kiss you."
"And so do I." His face showed a range of emotions from frustration, to defeat, to desire. "So badly."
I looked at my hands which were still on his chest. "I'm sorry."
"I understand." His fingers found mine, and they intertwined so perfectly. "Is this okay?"
I had always wanted to just sit and hold Drew Burrows's hand—to be able to hold it anytime I wanted. "Yeah. This is fine."
He let go of my hand and put his arm around my shoulder, pulling me into his side. "What about this?"
Oh, cuddling with Drew felt right, too. I knew I couldn't give this up either if he was offering. "This is okay, too."
"But no kissing?" He spoke into my hair. His low voice making my insides shudder.
I shook my head, not daring to lift my face to look at him. If I did, I knew I'd lose all my resolve and end up kissing him.
"Okay," he said softly. "I won't kiss you. Not until you ask me to."
"Thank you for understanding." I wrapped my arms around his torso and settled in closer.
"It's going to be really hard, though. But I guess I'll have to make do with cuddling and just reliving that kiss on Sunday for now." We were stretched out on the couch, and I rested my head on Drew’s chest.
"Me too," I said with a sigh. I pushedplayon the movie and tried to focus on just this moment and not on what things would be like for the next few weeks.
