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18
Silence descended overus. I sucked in a deep breath, my mind racing with what to respond to him with. What was I supposed to say to that?
“I don’t expect you to say anything,” he said, his voice almost a whisper. “I didn’t mean to tell you that any time soon, believe me.”
I didn’t know what to think or feel. With my head a whirring, fuzzy mess, I stayed silent until I could figure out something intelligible to say. The clock on the wall ticked precious minutes by, adding to the discomfort lingering in the room.
He cleared his throat, put his hat on, and stood up. “I’ll leave you be.”
Still staring straight ahead, stunned, it wasn’t until he reached the door that I found some words to say.
“No. Don’t go, Brady. Please.”
He turned towards me, but didn’t meet my eye contact. Taking his hat back off, he ran a hand through his hair and sighed.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I just don’t really know what to say...”
A ghost of a smile passed over his rosy red lips. “It’s ok. I don’t expect you to declare your undying love for me.”
Niggling deep inside me told me that there was an unspoken ‘but’ hanging on the end of that sentence.
“But?” I asked, not sure if I wanted to hear what would follow.
“There’s no buts,” he said, edging back towards the side of my bed. “It’s just hard for me to put all my feelings out there. This isn’t me, Sophie. I’m not saying I’ve been celibate, but I’ve certainly never given women much thought beyond the necessities. But then you came along and for whatever reason, you’ve gotten under my skin. I can barely function any more, all I do is think about you. It’s driving me crazy, I don’t know what to do or say—it’s like I’m a kid all over again.” He took a deep breath and sat back down in the chair, finally meeting my eye contact with a fiery passion burning in his eyes. “And then you go and do that today and I just lost it. The sheer panic I felt when you wouldn’t wake up...”
I understood then why he’d given me the patronising lecture. I didn’t know the details of his sister’s death but the pained, wistful memories glazing over him told me that he’d thought the worst.
“I’m sorry,” I said, guilt starting to gnaw away at me. “I didn’t think anything like this would happen. I just wanted to catch that damn cow.”
He gave a slight chuckle and reached for my hand. “That’s the funny thing about life. Actions always have consequences, but no one ever thinks about that until it’s too late.”
I smiled but said nothing. His words reverberated through me with a sense of something slowly clicking into place. Had Ben thought there would be no consequences to his actions with my sister? If I forgave him and played happy families for the rest of my life, what would be the chances of him doing it again with someone else? After all, if there were no consequences for him impregnating my sister, why would he think there would be any if he did it with someone else?
***
THANKFULLY, AFTER Arather disturbed night in the hospital, Dr Tate cleared me to go back to the ranch by mid-morning. I was under strict instructions to rest for the next week—I was not amused.
“Please, Brady. I’ll even let you lead me around if it makes you feel better.”
I was begging to the best of my ability as Brady drove us back to the ranch, but where it concerned me getting back on a horse any time before the eighth day, I was out of luck.
“You think I’m daft enough to leave myself on the ground again whilst you’re up on a horse telling me you’re fine?” He snorted and shook his head. “Don’t think so.”
I pulled a full-on pout and batted my eyelashes at him. “You’re being mean.”
“No, Sophie. I’m being sensible and following the doctor’s orders.”
Noting the lack of humour in his voice, I turned my attention to the desert landscape instead, sighing in my displeasure. What exactly was I supposed to do for the next seven days? Resting at home was one thing, but resting whilst on holiday? I couldn’t quite comprehend the reality of it.
Several miles zipped by, a comfortable silence filling the space between us. Just as I was observing several dark silhouettes walking along a hillside, Brady cleared his throat and placed a hand on my leg.
I looked at him only to see he was still staring straight ahead, focused on driving. Glancing down at his large hand spread over my thigh, I debated what the gesture meant.
We hadn’t been intimate in any way yet so was that what he was hinting at even though it didn’t seem his style? Was it just an affectionate move, one meant to comfort and reassure me? Or was it something else entirely?
Whatever the answer, it had my heart skipping beats, and warm tingles trickling through my body. After a tentative moment, I settled my hand on top of his, only to be surprised when he moved and curled his hand around mine.
“So, I’ve spoken to John,” he said, his voice meek and mild. “And I’m due some vacation time.”
