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No. I’m going to make her listen. I know she cares.
She has to care. I refuse to believe I’m in this marriage all by myself.
When I reach Sunset Terrace, it’s quiet and I take a deep breath and knock on Savannah’s door. I probably should have texted her first, but I need to talk to her in person.
“She’s not there,” a deep voice says.
I turn and see Ryan Fox. He holds a metal toolbox and looks like he’s been doing some repairs around the complex. “Did she run out? Do you know when she’ll be back?”
Ryan suddenly looks uncomfortable and shifts the toolbox to his other hand. “I don’t know what exactly happened between the two of you, Nick, but when I saw Savannah leave earlier this morning, she looked really upset.”
“Leave?” I ask and frown.
Ryan looks like he’s debating whether or not to say more. He sighs. “For Capri. I figured you knew.”
I can’t believe she just left and didn’t tell me. Why would she not at least let me know?
Because she doesn’t care,a small voice says.She thinks you’re an asshole and she’s done with you.
“Fuck,” I hiss out and lean over, hands on my knees. I feel like I’m going to puke. I stand back up and suddenly have no idea what to say or do. I feel like the only good thing in my life is gone. And, I was such a complete idiot for throwing away all of my rules and believing it could work.
“Do you want to sit down? Have a drink or something?” Ryan looks concerned, but I just shake my head.
Then, I turn and walk away.
Back at the beach house, I sit on the balcony, downing Jack Daniels and scrolling through my camera, looking at all of the pictures I’ve taken of Savannah. I start at the beginning with the Vegas shoot. Day one, she looked like an angel and I was so awful to her because she made me feel things that I didn’t want to admit. That I was scared to explore.
When I come to the picture I secretly took of her, with the wind blowing the gauzy dress up and the blazing blue sky and mountains behind her, my heart clenches. Actually, I think it just shattered.
I pour more whiskey into my glass and down it. All I want to do is numb the pain, but it’s not fucking working. I start scanning through the pictures again. Day two was brilliant. My sexy, sweet little temptress looks at me with a come-hither smile that hovers at the edge of her red lips.
I forward through the rest of the Guess shoot and then stop. I’ve reached the shots we took on the Fourth of July. That night after the barbecue where I told her to take her bikini off.Christ, talk about fireworks.I can’t stop from looking at them. They’re tasteful, beautiful and so fucking hot that I instantly get hard.
I’ve never been so goddamn miserable in my life. These pictures should be on display at some gallery somewhere. Their beauty should be shared and appreciated. But, I would never let anyone else see them. These tantalizing images are all mine and no one else’s. Mine to enjoy, savor and jack off to, I decide.
I set my camera aside and drop my head back. My mom was right. If it doesn’t work out with the person you love, that love has the power to turn around and destroy you.
The idea that Savannah and I are over leaves me distraught. I can’t even process it.
Because if I do, I’m terrified that it will completely break me.
