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CHAPTER FOURTEEN
AUGUST 2012
The night that Sean and Brian came over was the night we unofficially became a band. It was also the night that Ash’s confidence grew. After we performed that first song—which was the first one Ash had written— he saw the genuine surprise and love radiating off Sean, and absorbed Brian’s compliments, he understood that I was sincere about the talent he had. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t do me good to hear them compliment my skills, too. It was one thing for Ash to cheer me on but having two semi-strangers praise me as well–made me feel like I could accomplish the dreams that seemed so far from reach.
It was one of the best nights of my entire life.
We stayed up well past midnight jamming and drinking. We’d moved on from beer to rum and Coke, and by the end, we were all so elated from the session, and tired, that we had to call it a night around one in the morning.
Brian was the designated driver, and even though I insisted they crash in the basement, Brian was adamant that he had to be up early for work, and Sean wanted to be in his own bed, which was understandable.
We high-fived, hugged, and laughed before they made their way back to Sean’s van in a clear, late summer night sky. There was hope that our dreams would come to fruition heavily coating the humid air around us.
The house was silent, but my heart rang loud. Amy had come home hours ago and was more than likely asleep upstairs. Mom went to bed early and Dad was never up past eleven. The dogs were asleep with them in bed as per usual. It was eerily quiet in the living room without the sound of dog claws ticking on the tile in the kitchen and without Dadhmm-ing as he and Mom watched the news.
Ash closed the door and locked it behind him after he waved one more time to Sean and Brian. He turned around to face me with a contented smile and leaned against the door. Pure joy radiated off him and straight into me.
We had hardly touched since that night after he sang for me. It took all my control not to push it with him, but I’d kept myself in check despite my hormones taking over every time he was near me. That kiss crossed my mind before I fell asleep, and it was what I felt on my lips each morning when I was still stuck inside my dreams.
As Ash stood there against the door, I wanted to push my luck. I was dying to feel him again.
“You were amazing,” I said softly.
I took a tentative step toward him, which put us only a couple of feet apart.
Ash threw his head back and chuckled lightly. “I couldn’t have been amazing without you and all of your help.” He took a small step forward, bridging the gap between us even more. “Thank you.” It came out as a whisper and my skin vibrated in response.
To test the waters, I stepped in more so that we were only an inch or two away. When he didn’t move, I pressed my right hand on his chest and felt his heart beating hard and fast underneath my touch. Still, he didn’t move.
“Are you ashamed? Of what we did?” I asked quietly.
His eyes had drifted to look at his feet, but they snapped back up to meet my own at the question. He licked his bottom lip and shook his head.
“I feel…” he trailed off but slid his hands over my own on top of his chest. “Embarrassed. And confused, I think?”
I nodded. I’d felt those things over the last couple of weeks, too. My own pulse quickened with the contact of his hands, and I wanted to be bold, but I also wanted him to feel comfortable. I didn’t know what this meant for our friendship or the possible band we were forming. I didn’t really want to know. Because the smell of the sweet sweat on his clothes mixed with the washed-out aroma of the cologne he’d put on this morning—the quick breaths emerging from his pink lips, and the fire in his eyes—was about to send me over the edge.
I leaned in slowly, giving him the time to stop me if that’s what he wanted. His breaths grew ragged and sharp as I slid my hand up his chest to his neck and gripped the back of it. At the same time, I pressed my lips to that perfect spot right underneath his incredibly defined jawline. I gripped him tenderly on his neck, but my grip hardened when I felt Ash’s fingertips press into my hips. I pressed my body into him and sucked at his neck.
A soft moan came from his lips, and whatever small sense of control I’d had left vanished. One of my arms wrapped his torso, and the other cupped his jaw as I slammed us roughly into the back of the door. I couldn’t get to his lips fast enough, but he met me halfway. When we collided, I felt like I was drifting inside of a lightning bolt.
Ash’s hands moved from my hips to my hair, and he gripped my locks to deepen our kiss, to pull me in as much as possible. I desperately needed to get closer even though every inch of me was on every inch of him. He bit my bottom lip, right where my lip ring was, and it took every ounce of willpower not to scream out. I had to remind myself more than once that we weren’t alone, but I couldn’t break the euphoric moment, either. There was something even more exciting about knowing we could be caught at any moment, and even though I’d never willingly do that to my family, it had my blood boiling.
I’d been imagining this for days. Nothing I did took away the itch to have him. No amount of porn or rubbing helped. And I’d never been big into that, anyway. I neededhim.
Ash became more adventurous amidst our heated make-out, and soon enough I felt his hands sliding up my torso, underneath my shirt. The skin-to-skin contact jolted me. He breathed hard against me, and I broke the kiss, panting, even though it was the last thing I wanted to do.
I swallowed hard and caressed his jaw. “My room?” I whispered. My voice was deep and coated in what could only be described as pure lust.
A large part of me expected Ash to freak out at my invitation, or for him to run away like he’d done last time. Instead, he grabbed my hand and led the way up the stairs.
In the hallway, Ash pushed me silently against the wall by my bedroom door and kissed me, but this time the kiss was so light it was barely a brush of his lips on mine. I brought him into me and trailed kisses down his jaw and throat, and then led him into my bedroom. We had only been in the room for seconds before the door was locked, and we were on each other again.
I had no idea what we were doing aside from kissing and touching. In my fantasies, I’d always pictured Ash doing all sorts of things to me, but now, I felt anxious and inexperienced. Sure, I knew how certain things were done, but I wasn’t sure about the prep work… and I didn’t want to hurt him, either. I wondered if he’d ever been with a guy before.
As though sensing my worries, Ash pushed me onto my queen-sized mattress and straddled me. His confidence and demeanor were so much different from the last time we’d touched. The change in him since our last encounter was startling–and incredibly hot.
He stripped off his shirt, and I lost my breath. He was a thin guy, but he was perfect. Not very hairy, natural muscles, and skin so smooth I could lick him all day and night. I trailed my fingertips from his sternum down, down to his abs, and further, until my fingers toyed with the button on his jeans.
