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We drove back to the cabin in silence.There was a suave, dark man at the Inn.Leo.I glanced at Ben in the rearview mirror.
I couldn't put it off any longer.
I knew I had to talk to Ben.It was time to tell him about Leo.But I was chicken.After a simple dinner of burgers on the grill and oven fries, I sat on my swing and watched Ben try to skip rocks into the flat lake.Uncle Ray had tried without much success to teach him last summer, but he was too little to understand that he had to pick flat rocks and throw them at just the right angle.Ben seemed intent on perfecting the skill now.
After watching his efforts for a few minutes, I called out, "Ben."He turned towards me."Can you come here for a minute?"
He threw his handful of rocks into the water all at once and ran up the lawn at full speed, which is the only speed little boys know.Fortunately he slowed before he jumped onto the swing with me.
"Hey, buddy," I said and pulled him close."How're you doing?"
"I miss Papa.He should be here."
"I know."I stroked his silky hair and felt him relax against me.
"He's not coming, is he?"
Tears burned my eyes."No, baby.He's not coming back."
I looked out at the lake.It was reflecting the vibrant oranges and pinks from the setting sun and a few stars had already popped out over the mountains in the darkening sky.
"Sara Beth says he's watching us.Is he?"Ben asked.
A tear pushed free and slid down my cheek."Yes, I'd like to believe that he's watching over us."
"Is he now?"
"I think so."
"Maybe he's a star, Mom."Ben's arm wiggled out from the blanket and pointed to the three stars that had appeared over the mountains, brighter now.
"I think you're right, Ben.See the one on the right?The brightest one?"
He nodded.
"I think that one's Papa, and the two next to it," I spoke through my tears, tasting the saltiness, "those are my mom and dad, your grandparents."
"Cool," Ben said
"Very cool."I wiped my face and smiled.
Together we watched the sun disappear behind the mountains and soon, the rest of the sky filled with stars in a display never seen in the city.
After a few minutes of silence Ben said, "You know what, Mom?"
"What's that?"
"This is the perfect spot for Papa and Grandma and Grandpa to watch us.I don't think they could see us in the city."
"Even if we can't see the stars, they're still there, Ben."
"But I can't see them," he said.His voice took on an edge of panic.He turned so he was facing me."I want to see them.Can we stay?"
"You want to live here?"
He nodded."Can we?"
I looked into his dark eyes.Leo's eyes."I think we could stay.At least for a bit."
